Thought a lot, picked up the phone and started a post and deleted it as it...blank, for I do not have anything to write about.
Just when I was about to log off, I get a calendar reminder 'Take a moment of Gratitude' and I am back here with eyes burning with exhaustion and running nose :).
Let's get going....
Today I am truly, deeply happy and grateful for:
The morning walk to get veggies and groceries. Something which I had almost removed from my life since long... probably few months or almost a year. Even the vegetable vendor was surprised to see me and asked where have I been missing, not to be seen. And I just excused myself saying - now a days I started visiting office regularly and hence, no cooking no veggies shopping. (partially the truth was, I was also eating dinner at neighbours home or with a friend at a nearby hotel...so a absolutely zero cooking). The morning walk was way too important for me for two reasons:
- I had subconsciously locked myself up in home for long, for various reasons and I had to push myself out. Especially for such lone walks.... without a company of neighbour or staring gaze of onlookers.
- With fever, weakness, a long list of pending household chores, I wanted to test my will and wanted to live that old, carefree me back who would just get lost in her walks, observe trees, feel the breeze, listen to the leaves whispering and humm along. Waving at the old uncle at the corner of the lane....etc.
2. Sticking to my task list...
The top most was a. permaculture session, b. making Cards and then the laundary list of washing clothes, cleaning the veranda, cooking n cleaning, head bath with soapnut, reading 'The Palce of illusions' etc.
Even though I pushed hard on the most desired one (a and b) by prioritising other mundane tasks, I was at peace, I was aware of my self imposed resistance and also that probably the conditioning my inner child has gone thru is hard wired but I am ok. I needed to show and feel some love and grace for myself which I did by intermittent sleep with soft music...just surrendering to the sleep so I wakeup more energised and continue with my chores.
And now, when I am sitting and writing this blog, the satisfaction is deep, as I did progress with my Permaculture training and also read a few pages of the book. Although cooking and cleaning took away the major part of my time that I let go of card making, I am at ease and in peace and that is what is most important :). So, thank you.
3. Seeing Dad & Mom on video calls and allowing the feelings to be felt. (๐ฅน Chocking..).
Late noon, I was trying to reach Dad and he dint receive so I dialed Mom but soon I got call from Dad and so ai disconnected Mom's call and Dad disconnected too thinking I am busy ๐ and like that the chase continued till finally Dad picked up the phone while he was on his bike, riding with helmet and said he will call after reaching home...
That moment made me think how pure the love of a Dad (or parents, in general) is...he took that effort to dial back, take my call inspite of riding and assure me that he will get back. His smiling face (thru the helmet) was itched in my mind and I Loved him a little more today and thanked God for such blessings ๐, love and care in my life. Later I spoke to mom who is on her toes to board the train to visit me and I could see her excitement in her eyes. And like a child she expressed that if my tickets didn't get confirmed then?.….I said, will book tatkal! Simple...a day or two hear and there :).
4. Wellbeing of self and loved ones and the assurance that all will be well.
This is in particular to my own wellbeing, My mum's, my neighbour's (all at their hometown) and a friend....we all are probably going thru a season of cold. But strangely at different locations but all at same time. But because this is just a cold and fever, we know we will get past it. Possibly this is body's way of asking us to rest up, ease a bit.
But unfortunately some are battling life..My friend's dad is battling 4th stage C and seeing someone so dear to us going thru such hardships and finding ourselves completely helpless is a deeper level of ordeal, especially when all you are supposed to do is to continue with your life's journey whether willingly or unwillingly.
And in this awareness I thank God for the wellbeing bestowed on me and many and Pray for other wellbeing and ease too ๐. May all be blessed.
5. Permaculture :
The way I came across this terminology was magical and as I began to learn more about it thru the udemy course that I am persuing, I am in awe about the mysterious balance of nature and how one can achieve so much or one just surrender to what nature has to teach us...the ways of design methodology, sound navigation, alkalinity etc. I feel drawn more towards land and permaculture, each time I learn a new topic and feel more in sync. The new awareness is something I was looking for all these years in my life. And finding this oldie Goldie sweet uncle teaching the course in his video which such humility and admiration for nature plus the audacity to exclude colleges from imparting the lessons from his book... Purely coz he doesn't want it to be just another course when it is truly a way of living. And I feel immensely blessed to have arrived at that course. Deep felt gratitude.
6. Friendships
Something that always brings smile to my face and I have been blessed with such friends. While cleaning my Google photo gallery, due to constant reminders of it running out of storage, I came across Bhutan photos and doe almost fifteen minutes, I was lost in them remembering how Bhutan was my dream destination and it was my first international trip and made possible by a friend who had given me three choices of places to choose from, for which I could only hear - Bhutan and that's how she, me and her friend landed in Bhutan.
7. The night skys
After a long day or a lonely day, a tired or a day when I feel lost, or unable to sleep, just a look up at the night sky calms me down. I consider sleeping on the open terraces when I yearn for those warm hugs and a blanket of care and I know it's right above me everytime I look up. And I bow down in gratitude.
8. The seeds that sprouted and surprized me
So this is from yesterday, I wanted to call this out here because the very episode pulled me out of my anxiety and unease.
Yesterday morning, I was terribly palpitating for no clear reason or trigger nor was able to ease off so I stepped out of my bed and headed to my tiny garden. I was bit frustrated too so while observing the plants and new leave and a baby mango tree, I remembered the soap nut seeds that I had planted in a cracked mud pot Almost a week to 10 days back and nothing noticeable was found as a indication of germination. Or probably I thought they all dies as I was not around for a long weekend and Rain too was missing. So in my mixed emotions, I decided to dug-up a portion of mud from a corner assuming atleast one seed could be in that area as I had planted them in a circular pattern. And suddenly I see a broken hard shell with a green life shooting from it...OH! I was frozen for a sec realising there is life there and it's responding....and my heart started to beat faster as if just by seeing that new life I was infused with a life in me. I rushed back in kitchen washed my hands and carefully added some more mud and manuer with water to that seed and prayed in my heart that It stays Healthy and bloom. I wanted to thank that life form for the hope that it instilled in me.
9. For the financial wellbeing
This is one of the most precious blessings for me as It not just enables me to go easy on my own choices of either food, long travels, crazy spending, experiment with; but also helps me to be of some support to anyone who is in need for genuine reasons. And I am thankful for being that channel of divine grace.
10. Healthy and blessed Food on my place, lamp to lit and time to reflect
--
(So the general rule is to start with minimum 10 points and if I wish, I can go on...but have to have 10 list for sure.) Do you have any?
No comments:
Post a Comment