Complete and incomplete Love

I was searching for an appropriate image online to share it with an elderly friend.... Someone I had met at Mumbai airport, almost ten years ago and appreciate her 'peacock feather' tattoo on her upper arm which was beautifully standing out on her wheatish skin tone. 

Since then, everytime I saw a peacock feather or similar design, I was reminded of her and I would leave her a message....like this we stayed in touch. And luckily, after these many years, I met her in-person for second time :).

Remembering that she introduces herself as Ritu 'Mohan'....the suffix is her way of acknowledging her love and belonging for Lord Krishna also known as Mohan. 

And as it's Krishna Janmashtami (Krishna's birthday), I wanted to wish her and found the above picture. Those two lines on the picture spoke to my soul...

प्रेम पूरा हो तो श्री राम जैसा हो,

और अधूरा हो तो राधे–श्याम जैसा हो

(If love is complete then it should be like Shri Ram,

And if it is incomplete then it should be like Radhe-Shyam)

While I was busy with my daily chores, these words made me think....where do I stand and my face turned red with failed efforts to holdback tears and my throat choked. For I have no answer to myself.

At times I ask myself why is Love so important to me, why I feel the need to find it elsewhere? There are days when I really have to battle the emotions of a five year and simultaneously with the one on this side, and somedays I start to feel pity on myself and breakdown all over again and fight hard to console myself. 

The hardest part of knowing too much about self is also that at days one would want to relive the old days, days which will never return or childhood that is gone forever or could have been different had the path was different. Such naive expectations also hurts  other deeper wounds...

And probably the best part of growing up is in the awareness - I can make a choice and also help hear the inner being.....one that was un-attended, misunderstood and ignored too. But with a little more effort the 'now' can be a different reality, it has all the power it needs ....we just need to makesure we attend to it with compassion.

Jai Shri Krishna🙏

(9.07pm when I was about to signoff for the day...I see a  post on a neighbour aunty's  WhatsApp status)

Taking this as a msg from krishna....