Gratitude and a Qs

I think what I have been missing is Fun...just being myself and I constantly fland chronically compare myself to others and feel low or judge myself and it takes immense courage to sit with this knowing and paralyzing fact and a sprinkle of willingness and motivation to still choose the bright side:

Hence, for next seven days, will journal 10 gratitude and one Qs i.e. what am I avoiding today?

27 Jul 2026
Today I am deeply grateful and happy about:

1. The ease in my being. the willingness to live each day
2. Love and care in my heart.
3. Easy availability of means and resources I.e. the right food, places that brings solace, knowledge that keeps me floating and thrive in my own way.
4. A good night's sleep ..after a longtime. I allowed myself to surrender to it and just flow
5. For Maa-Papa and a loving, tolerating and understanding family and their well-being 🙏🌹
6. A cupboard full of dresses to choose from and the willingness to be creative 
7. Sunshine and the warmth and comfort that I feel in my being when I stare at it🌞.
8. Awareness and acceptance (eg. I get too clinged/ attached to getting my tasks list checked and if anything is undone...I am not at all easy on self. The awareness allows me to let go and be in peace irrespective)
9. Desire and opportunities to travel...even if it means weekday travel to work (~90 mins)...but I love seeing the beautiful houses, the greenary and more that that...my mind takes off on to a journey of its own..countless episodes, feelings,  memories, nudges by even seeing some alley...
10. Happy Memories and experience of life that makes me feel lighter in heart and being. 
11. These tiny pockets that I work on self.

Q. What am I avoiding today?

This has been a constant Q on my mind and just yesterday a coach pointed it out to me that we cannot pay attention to others if we are avoiding our own feelings and needs...and that hit hard. It's not the first time I hear it but what hurts is I don't know how to attend to self...I use to get carried away in my emotions, over thinking or feeling or overwhelm...

In search of feeling of safety and instant gratification I was attracting more of insecurity! - be it with people, my relationships, money, choices I made,  avoiding life in it's full spectrum i.e.  there will be changes, there will be ups and downs, there will be difficulties or that feeling of isolation, confusions, decisions to be made, keep moving amidst all this facing self and sitting with the voices of head and the discomfort it brings too.

Sometimes there will be judgements, people to deal with and points you may feel the need to prove...sometimes the happiness that I would get attached to or even the ease in 'known' the comfort