I think what I have been missing is the 'Fun'...just being myself and I constantly and chronically compare myself to others and feel low, else judge myself and then it takes immense courage to sit with it - knowing it & experiencing the paralyzing fact ...later a sprinkle of willingness and motivation to still choose the bright side:
Hence, for next seven days, will journal 10 gratitude and one Qs i.e. what am I avoiding today?
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Day 10 - 5th Aug 2026
(missed getting back to the blog, so writing it on 6th Aug)
I am deeply grateful and thankful for:
- Having a Job and workplace to go to, meet people and chat with them and bond even if it's about sharing our weekend stories 💖, sometimes it's such a boon when feeling lonely or isolated.
- For the wonderful Softskills session and deep work we experience during those sessions - Our current topic was Adaptability
- Myself for opening up to being flexible in my being, words/ responses and thought patterns and limit the limiting rigidity. Eg. inspite of following a strict diet per naturopathy, I allowed myself to cheat moments 😂🎈🤗
- Blessings of nature's abundant Love (local ripped fruits)
- Being able to attend to three basic work tasks and feel like an achievement!.. especially when one is struggling with anxiety, uncertainty and self doubt but came out as winner
- Maa-Paa, Sam, Gudi, babies and all of my extended family members who look after their well-being and are always loving and caring
- Wonderful weather, Rains, refreshing winds, peaceful time I get to spent at the lake temple.
- Blogging time! So precious 💞
- Self - for looking after herself, be it managing work, emotions, daily chores, trainings I sighed up for, knowing when to stand by self, taking that liberty to pamper and work on self-improvement and know I am loved 😍.
- Simply every deep and concious deep breaths I take ...to reset, accept what cannot be changed, refuel a fresh perspective, ease and send a little more love to self. thank you so much, Tan! Love you loads
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Day 9 - 4th Aug 2026
Today, I am deeply grateful and happy about:
- Birthday of this kind person, I met on this soul journey of mine and Kishore Kumar's Birthday 🎂
- Self awareness to choose to stick to action- plan inspite of missing office cab and dropping anger.
- Long video calls with all my niece and nephews 💕🤞🙏🪷 and so much love form them.
- Ease of cooking.
- The transformation in weather - sounds of Rains, mist and winds.
- Listing habits and which anchored me to be mindful about the thoughts/ nervous system reminders
- Yummy Onion Pakodas.
- Family
- Sleep/ rest.
- Chat with coach and colleagues and hearing their perspective.
- Mother nature 💖🤗
What am I avoiding?
Much needed shift in my life, either by eliminating or adding.
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Day 8 - 3rd Aug 2026
Today, I am deeply grateful and happy about:
- Slow morning.
- Few peaceful moments in the traditional wooden - easy chair, sun Gazing and listening to Geeta Sadhna.
- Me being a good and attentive listener for 'UM' while she shared her story of challange personal situations, relationship, her struggles, the shift she is experiencing and then at a point we both doing grounding and tree hugging.
- Choosing healthy first meal of the day - soaked Raisins (Naturopathy Routine) and then Salads and fruits before checking out.
- A beautiful and soulful experience of feeding bananas to the cows at Hotel Gaushala!...loved them all and the grace which enabled us to be able to caressed them all. That blessed my day.
- Trying a different flavour - dark chocolate with curry leaf.
- In search of a temple (It being Tamil auspicious day), we visited the local Deity - Ayyanarappan Koil and next to the site was a old style swing on a neem tree and I had fun swining in it while my friend turned her car
- Sumptuous Veg load sandwich with banana coconut milk smoothie. (vegan rocks) 💕🙏
- Longing followed by acceptance - to visit the P. Beach one more time before I leave but I couldn't...(As I had already communicated my gratitude and shift last night and accepted...I won't be seeing it today)
- Restful sleep in the bus, Completing the due Krishna Consciousness discourse audio and this time to attend to my promise of Gratitude 🙏🪷. (I feel blessed when I am able to complete such promises or any for that matter:).)
- Paniyaram on my way and watching the sundown alongside the vast mountains ...fills my soul and keeps me grounded from my yearning, mindless emotional Paralysis and self doubt and criticism.
- For Maa-Papa, Babaji and everyone at home for their Love understanding, courage and acceptance of me - as I am. 🙏🥺 (All this while I thought it was me..but it is they who enabled me...Thank you to each one of them and God for such blessed burth and life)...for all the Love in all forms ..from a flower to a letter 💌
- For the grace of the awareness that duty comes about personal desires or benefits...and that duty can be even showing up, facing the day as it comes, dealing but keep moving...
Day 7 - 2nd Aug 2026
Today, I am deeply greatful and happy for :
5. Joy of learning.
Day 6 - 1st Aug 2026
Today I am deeply greatful and happy:
3. Deep conversation, being the sound board for a friend who accompanied me ..(sometimes conversations enable the flow of life back..) hope her being feels better.
What am I avoiding today:
Releasing the nervous memory of financial lack from my body by acknowledging, accepting the fact that I am blessed and will continue to be blessed and have more than enough 🪷🙏✨💪
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Day 5 - 31st July 2026
I am truly and deeply grateful (and still in disbelief and shock and shivering)..for the Magic
Because after an intence discussion and planning and back and forth, I had booked train and could only start from home at 2:17 pm for a 2:50 train ..
And reached station at 2:57pm and can you guess what happened? A train known for it's precise time...got delayed for exact 9mins and in the 2mins I had, I boarded and train doors locked...
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Day 4 - 30th July 2026
What am I avoiding today:
The acceptance that I am not liking being locked in corporate work or lack of it ..or say trapped in the addiction of a paycheck.
Being busy is what keeps me going else I get anxious.Being out in the nature eases my being ... (I so desired to book myself on a train and go and be at any place that soothes my restlessness ..a environment next to Nature...but then I am my biggest critique too...and will find every excuse (eg. Friends not being around, neighbours cannot travel, colleague unwell on the dates I have time on hand and even when classes are there but I am not willing to do anything 😔) it exhausted me and I slept on it 🙈
Today, I am deeply grateful and happy for :
Today, I am deeply grateful and happy for :
- The auspicious day of Guru Purnima and the blessings of having my lessons bestowed thru learned Individual and beings🙏
- Blessings of Maa Annapurneshwari Devi - having the art of cooking in me.
- blessings of Saraswati Maa - being able to comfortably utilise my schedule to meet the needs for my cooking, classes and work schedule.
- Food availability at work. Such comfort.
- Collaborative colleagues who helped me move a long stranded project further.
- Everyday morning - Geeta Sadhna lessons (Krishna Consciousness)🙏
- Well-being of my Maa-Paa, broader family & friends + Their presence and support in my life
- Wisdom to deal with passing Phases of life.
- This time and willingness to be able to jot a gratuite note here.
- Absolute amazing conversation with the office cab- mate and the lessons: Shed the identity and shed the trap you are locked in...every single day, hour and minute of the day.
- Love and Goodies from celebration of Anju's Cafe which completed 2decades and so did I...:)
- Papa's call to share about a Stall set-up by blind association for Guru Purnima 🌹 (Love his zeal for being so connected to people and experiences)
- The actions I took for shifting my restless being to a clam and composed one by allowing myself to attend a theatre art. 🎭
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What am I avoiding today?
Effortlessly receiving of Love, Grace and recognition. It makes me feel utterly uncomfortable. Even if it's at work.
- A deep uninterrupted and holistic sleep.
- The awareness and consciousness when I wake-up - to surrender to the divine energy to lead my way and with ease (absence of rush) complete the morning routines.
- Time in cab, while enroute to office to listen to Krishna Consciousness Discourse by @Saakshi Chandrakar....and I loved the knowledge.
- The food at work that enables me and helps me have some time to attend to things that matters to me.
- The first email that said "Congratulations Ru..." - an award as appreciation.
- Grateful heart for Dad - for he completed a course I had asked him to attend and I expected him to only finish partial...but he did it all...(I loved him in that moment and experience his unconditional love for his daughter too)🥲
- Experiences of life that is allowing me to implement my learnings and test my own growth.
- Willingness to serve - be it at work, through my written words or in my thoughts.
- For the presence of my neighbour's son (baby) who come running when he sees me walking back home...it fills me with great joy.
- For presence of Maa-Papa and the extended loving family and for their well-being and ease🤞🔯💌
- Also, this knowledge about Nishkarma that came to me to support a friend
Nishkama Karma (action without attachment to the outcome)—offered as a steadying light for your journey:
"You have a right only to your effort, never to the fruits of it. Do not let the outcome be your motive, nor let yourself lean toward inaction." — Bhagavad Gita, 2.47
Your sacred duty right now is simply the care you offer in this very moment—the spoon of water, the quiet presence, the gentle touch. The trajectory of their body, the illness itself, and the final outcome are governed by nature (Prakriti) and time (Kala), which are outside your control.
Release the unbearable weight of trying to control the result.
You are an instrument, not the sole bearer: When you are caregiving alone, it feels as though the entire world rests on your shoulders. Krishna reminds us that the divine spirit (Paramatma) resides within both you and your parent. You are simply the physical vessel through which care and love are currently flowing. You do not have to carry this with your ego or personal willpower alone; let the deeper strength within you take over.
Care for the vessel that serves: Performing your duty (Dharma) without attachment also means recognizing that you cannot pour from an empty cup. Tending to your own mind, breath, and rest is not a departure from your duty—it is an essential part of sustaining it.
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Q. What am I avoiding today?
Self .
I don't know why, I experience palpitations and feel as if I am doing something wrong. Even if it means having a freetime on my hand at work (due to a major re-org). I feel guilty of it and there is a constant pressure to utilize that time to the max. My being is craving for a break, go around and drop all the classes, Learning schedules, thought of work and daily routines to breath in the un-known, walk without a plan and just explore but what I am choosing is to be in this - Palpitations.
Looks like I am attached to the feeling of being vulnerable...my nervous system is wired so.
This pulls me to the another question - Why? Why is it that I am not doing what I feel like...
Deep in my heart, I believe leaving a loved one behind or when others are suffering etc means I am abandoning them (even if, I am not contributing to them in any way at all), It hurts! ...this goes as mundane as hurting when a neighbour complains of lack of money...I feel guilty of having it then and not knowing how or where to utilise it...
....
- The ease in my being. the willingness to live each day
- Love and care in my heart.
- Easy availability of means and resources I.e. the right food, places that brings solace, knowledge that keeps me floating and thrive in my own way.
- A good night's sleep ..after a longtime. I allowed myself to surrender to it and just flow
- For Maa-Papa and a loving, tolerating and understanding family and their well-being 🙏🌹
- A cupboard full of dresses to choose from and the willingness to be creative
- Sunshine and the warmth and comfort that I feel in my being when I stare at it🌞.
- Awareness and acceptance (eg. I get too clinged/ attached to getting my tasks list checked and if anything is undone...I am not at all easy on self. The awareness allows me to let go and be in peace irrespective)
- Desire and opportunities to travel...even if it means weekday travel to work (~90 mins)...but I love seeing the beautiful houses, the greenary and more that that...my mind takes off on to a journey of its own..countless episodes, feelings, memories, nudges by even seeing some alley...
- Happy Memories and experience of life that makes me feel lighter in heart and being.
- These tiny pockets that I work on self.
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