(Days when our meetings have become a reare occurance and his days mostly are spent at hospitals attending to his ailing mother (battling C))
During one sure rare meeting at a cafe,
Me: how are you?
He (with reddish, tired, sleep deprived eyes and a forced smile) : I am doing okie.... Say something else..
Me: instantly like a radio, throwing out all the events of my life, my work, new learnings, my family, travels etc endlessly....(As if In every bit of my being even though being detached, still feels a deep sense and need of care for the other and wishes that possibly any of these banter could be a easy distraction for him in some way possible)
I held his hand, pressed his palms assuring all will be well..
He (Opening up): seeing both parents suffer one after the other has its own toll...
Me: Nodding in agreement..
After a comfortable Pause...
Me: What is your relationship with relations
He: Frankly, I don't know...I am still learning...one of my PLR revealed that I was a monk and a warrior...
And in this life I have never had anyone in my life for that long.
...
Except for you.
Me (experiencing a deep sense of ease and gratitude for his honesty, rawness and surrender): Then why is it that I am still there, what role I am here to play?
He: I don't know, but what I belive is it's something from the past, Dad had said that a girl from north would be a big pillar of support.....
Me: Hmm....I am glad you are aware and true to yourself because all the way on my ride from home to the cafe, I was wondering about that Question.
Our conversation went on for another few mins over a herbal tea...
.....
What I was surprised with - was the fact that I felt so much at ease in my being, no judgement, no feeling of insecurity, no rush to find my ground or where I belong, probably I have accepted my life's course...as it.
I have lived or choosen to live numerous such battles with him thru his lifetime and somewhere it exhausted me too, deprived me of a partnership, but every event was teaching me something more deeper.
It's a previlege for the people in any relationship where it grows from Nothing to Something to Nothing Again, consciously.
And it is to me - a service; to be the only witness of greatness unfolding, seeing a Man in control of his senses, a devoted Son, a friend in need, a safety net, a fearless being...and sometimes one who also needs to be reminded that they are loved, cared for, thought of, respected and that they deserve ease and can choose one.
