My lost lore and self-discovery

From that of lost self, lost relationships, now I have a new addition to my lost lore!

The thing I am talking about is not as valuable  compared to the dent that a relationship or self-awareness can make; but it was dear to me.

I was looking forward to it like a lost beloved. searching frantically for the other partner in every tiny room of her memory, in the music that reminds her of the other, in the words spoken, in the care expressed and made to be believed as the truth, in every way she never existed but was carved out from her ordinary being and then... puff! it all disappears. 

The thing I am talking about is the tiny postcard I had written to myself. Earlier this June, I was visiting Singapore for an official event and while I was there, I met this kind hearted, bubbly colleague of mine. She follows this ritual to send a note to her friends, husband and to herself from every place she visits, either on work or leisure.

I don't know what made her pick-up one such postcard for me and she surprised me at the murugan idli shop, on the last evening of our Singapore stay by saying - " here you go! Write on these cards, one to your family and make sure the other is for you. I am telling you, you will love it when you receive these cards and read the message you wrote on them. It is an experience one should definitely try firsthand".

Though, this sounded little silly to me and the emotional state, I was in; I was reluctant and was behaving more like a tarnished soul (someone living with deep hopelessness and victimized kind of self image) but I couldn't stand the genuine request of my colleague and her kindness to even think of me and buy me two cards without my knowledge.

I sat to to write, the first postcard was addressed to my family, back at my hometown... Just wrote -  enquiring about their well-being and that I am writing from Singapore at a Murugan idly shop which appears too funny to me. I also shared a bit about my colleague and her postcard ritual"

When it was second one - special to me. I don't know what changed after the first postcard, my spirits were uplifted, I was elated to write the second. Especially, because it was for myself. 

The whole thought of - me sitting far away from the motherland and addressing the future me who may receive the postcard and more importantly the message in it. And all I knew was - I wanted it to be a special one. One that I deserve! One filled with words dipped in ink of compassion and honour for my own self. 

And that's what I did. I that limited space to write, I opened my heart for myself, acknowledging how much I am loved and adored, honouring the courage and grace, how far I have come and yet the joy I find in simplest of life's treasures and how such miracles (Colleague and the postcard) are God sent for my wellbeing and ease.

There was something so magical about this whole experience. And now, that my Colleague has already received her postcard whereas I haven't... It makes me long for it but this lost lore also helps me  keep the experience as timeless and beautiful as I please to; forever in my heart ❤️.