Whether one is waiting for a response, a diagnosis or a decision it definitely puts one self in the limbo. Me being on this boat currently in many aspects of life and experiencing the bouts of anxiety or aimlessness, I wonder what lies beneath this superficial feeling?
Knowing that there could only be two possibilities on each extremes - either in my favour or say which I am at ease with due to the clarity I have or one that will throw me in to the unknown. But will I be able to deal with it in all my humanity? to understand the depth of the instance, carve a new direction and transform it all (if possible) in the the direction of 'known'.
Knowing me, I will definitely choose the easy one first - avoidance that I have knowingly or unknowingly nurtured all thru my life. The avoidance of discomfort. I was made aware of it very recently by one of the therapist who patiently heard me out.
I ask myself - if this awareness makes me more grounded, comfortable in this state of getting into the unknown? May not completely, but what it does is - It reminds me that I do have analytical abilities and if I wish I should own and feel comfortable to make use of it, take baby steps and not be judgmental or cynical about the decisions I take or results I bear.
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