Pointlessness to Purpose

I walked upto the coastal dune of Marvante beach which was just few lanes behind my friend's home at Navunda. There was this - isolated portable shelter made of satin cloth supported by four poles forming a hollow cube, visually. The rain-fly was a discarded decor piece, one commonly see at Indian weddings. It had frills stitched in concentric circles at the centre and four angular shapes around it covering each of the four corners. The contrasting outer frill gave a feeling of festivity and celebration which was accentuated by the gentle sea breeze fueling life underneath it's shade. 

In that wee morning hour at Navunda; sitting alone in the shade with my back rested to one of the wooden pole, I experienced a rush of overflowing thoughts - of that of acquired vision of how to best use this me time. I felt so overwhelmed that I froze and my mind din't know what to make of it ...it almost felt like an obligation than a moment to cherish and just be.

Subconsciously fighting those preset ideas and feeling blank about what I want, I decided to  navigate the situation by engaging my senses...and started with that of touch - by walking along the shoreline, allowing muddy waves and froth to submerge my feet and flow back leaving me little more aware.

As I walked in one direction, I was constantly drawn to the sound of tall waves forming somewhere  at a far distance in middle of the sea past me. They were attuned to the onset of the bright day post Mahashivrathri and the refreshing aqua-marine color - visible in the crest got enhanced in that fleeting moment mid-air distracted me from the engagement I had with the touch and added another thread to the ongoing juggle in mind and heart - to continue to walk or just peacefully and playfully stare at those waves.

I went back to the tent in some shade and continued to be in awe and at those waves almost effortlessly. I wanted to allow this experience to go deeper and multifold and hence I closed my eyes and visualised the formation of those waves and tried to match it with the sounds I hear. I struggled! and I was being too pushy to get it right and somewhere was little scared of those featherlight scorpios popping in and out of the wet sand around me and had scary visuals of them getting in my pyjamas.🙈

Out of no-where it all settled down. I noticed that the thud of the big wave marked the breathing-in my body and withering away of the waves on both sides with the ripple sound, to that of the breathing-out. It felt magical. Just this awareness and settlement within as if I was yearning deeply to get to this and it almost happened effortlessly.

This deep found momentary happiness instigated me to call Mom-Dad to show them the beach and Dad picked-up the call (You see connection! 💘). He loved watching the sea waves and expressed that he would love to be in such place for a week when he would visit me and do nothing just be. Then I called-up my friend who introduced me to beaches :).

After those calls, my attention drifted towards the swell waves closer to the shore moving swiftly and rising a bit with each forward move... I was enthralled. At that moment, I was absent yet in-sync within. This new awareness brought me to think about everything that at times appeared to be absolutely pointless - The connections with people, places, songs or even smell. The yearning to see or feel that someone by your side. The lost contacts where the communication is missing but one desirably or undesirably visits those special moment's lived together. The pain we tend to avoid, happiness we sometimes deprive ourselves of and believing it is for anyone else but me. Every single thing, episode eventually starts to make sense in the bigger scheme of life. Thus, paving way for the deeper purpose of one's life.