You may be holding on tightly right now—perhaps to a belief, a plan, or even a version of yourself that once felt safe. There’s no judgment in that. We all crave certainty when things feel fragile. But today invites a gentle loosening. Not a letting go in haste, but a softening of the grip. Ask yourself: Is this protecting me, or is it keeping me stuck? , there is power within you - quiet, capable, and ready. You don’t need to have it all figured out to begin again. Your voice, your intention, your energy - they matter. What you focus on grows. This may not be a time of extremes however, it is a time of beautiful in betweens, however chaotic they may seem.
-- I read this on the 'Vande Bharat' train journey to Mysore and wondered, how close can predictions can go...Then, without really getting to the depth of that question, I knew, those words in horoscope predictions made me feel herd and understood, almost instantly. I felt great and as it is, it being Friday, I was feeling good, in general.
Since, I am currently in on a mission to bring some change to the look and feel of my house interiors, something that speaks to me and reflects me, I have been on a shopping spree and same was repeated in Mysore or my whole motivation was about some crockery shopping and I actually did that. After a very long time, may be decade, I felt so motivated to indulge in something that is purely for myself and it all felt great! I won't deny the occasional emotional outburst, guilt, doubt and selfsabotage but it slowly faded away.

So, that was that; half-a-day trip by train and back, including shopping, enjoying auto rides on the vast roads of the heritage city, beautiful weather with lush green cover of flowering trees and a feeling of being home, at ease with myself. I also had delicious and extremely satisfying meal at Mylari's (three sagu dosas) and a lemon tea in the next door cafe. 

And...loads of shopping of some bamboo and creatively designed metal trays, enameled tea mugs, a single oval platter ceramic plate and matching four bowls. (I know, the numbers sounds odd, but I just took limited stuff to makesure I have atleast one proper set of any item). All carefully chosen, to suite my imagination and also inspire my love for cooking. 

That evening, after returning home, I took a hot water shower, locked myself, sat in the kitchen for a while to let the feelings settle, afterall, this was the third day of shopping, in a row; including online (returned them all: p). Later, connected with family on call, spoke to my nieces and nephew who are mostly with my Mom, in her room at late evenings and nights.  Seeing them so happy and at ease with my Mom, gives me a deep felt happiness, seeing mom Happy and just herself.  She would often message (bait) me saying - call now, the kids are here. And I know, I can't resist it. 

---

Next day (Saturday), after waking-up with panic due to a horrifying dream of me being kidnapped by some terrorists, me offering to broom at the hostage house and trying to text my neighbour and a friend that I have been kidnapped but as the day was shifting towards night, my heart was beating so fast as if it will explode...with fear that soon I would be attacked for some bodily pleasures...And....I wokeup in my bed with a gasp. 

The realisation that I am on my own bed, in my safe space held and filled me with calm. I took sometime to ease though...

After a good breakfast, laundary and cleaning home, I invited my neighbours to show them the purchase from my mysore trip and they all loved it and again we started to discuss more home decor and some of their online purchases too which were scheduled for delivery today.

It begin saturday, with a whole day to myself, I was tempted to engage in deep cleaning of kitchen, clear clutter, ruthless sorting of unwanted stuff and also plastic. By late evening, my creativity surge and I wanted to quickly head to a few nearby shops: firstly, to a ironing shop to handover a bag full of nearly stacked paper bags, from all my old purchases. For them to reuse for the ironed clothes of their clients who probably don't carry bags. Then to plastic and scrap buyer, to sell off all my old plastic storage boxes, then to the nearby steel shop to exchange all old vessels which have lost it's shine or luster, or are broken, some too old with paint peeled off etc. and by adding a few extra thousands (INR) I brought some meaningful vessels and I simple loved it. I don't know what had happened to me and I am so loving this part of me being me. 

Infact, their came a point when me and my neighbour friend were standing in the two wheeler parking of a supermarket and I stopped, with my hand on my heart, I expressed that I feel guilty, if I am overdoing and going overboard on shopping...especially knowing the usage is not much as I mostly take food at office or at her place, and host very limited folks... to which she replied, ' I loved all that you purchased today because, I have been gathering things slowly and you are doing it all at one shot and hence it feels overwhelming'. I thanked her presence in my life and her validation at that moment. 

We then continued our ride back towards home with all the purchases and stopped once for some veggies.

That break of potentially a hour and a half, was superbly productive and after getting back home, it started to rain again and I offered to cook some basic meals for all four of us.  Even though my kitchen was not fully set.

After finishing the meal preparation, I quickly wrapped the pending arrangment and mopped the whole house, took hot shower and headed for a late night dinner. My neighbour had arranged a beautiful setup for us all and my heart was filled with gratitude.

I came back home, cleared dishes and headed straight to bed. My legs were hurting due to the the day long straining so I applied some caster oil and slept like a log only to wakeup wide at 3 am and again sleep 😴.
--

Sunday Morning felt like a reward, seeing the neatly arranged kitchen and therapeutic after effects of indulging in deep cleaning was visible thru the ease that my being felt. 

I then started my day with some inner child affermations, devotional songs, laundary for door mats (which are being washed and rewashed In the on-going rains). Had yummy Neer dosas at neighbours house and then came home and indulged in some herbal haircare (soapnut), later mindless scrolling on social media and a good deep nap around 12:30 for any hour. I wokeup and with rains at it's peak, I wished to cook some lost traditional food which mom would have liked - Birre ki Roti and Tangy thin sliced bitter guard  sabzi.  I did some prep and headed for bath, soon after, lit a lamp and some organic incenses (made of cow dung) and Got to the actually cooking, my neighbour brought some mango slices for me and later I sat in my quite space, in the hall, opposite the window overlooking the pouring rains. 

Again cleaned the kitchen and sat with my phone for a while, watched some deep videos about a souls journey before taking birth and that made me reflect at many aspects of my life... somewhat from a distance. 

With some light instrumental music on alexa, I read for a while and soon it was time for some banana chips and hot filter coffee, that I shared with my neighbours. 
At one point, the music of the song - 'Lights will guide you home' touched the chords deep in my heart....

After giving the coffee and chips to neighbours, I was entering back home, the hall was filled with smoke from the burning incense cups and reminded me of a day from my past. 

My sister called while in the train; today she is heading back to her house (in-laws) after a good time with everyone during summer vacations. And while she was sharing how her kids enjoy with all Nana-Nanis and everyone's time was scheduled i.e. for night movies it was my mom, for evening playtime, it was my uncle and for late-night cooking and pizza games it was my Dad etc.

She also shared that while bidding adieu, my Mom  (Aunty to my sister) hugged her and that she was about to breakdown but controlled it and those words had me weeping without even realising it...I wished her safe journey and blessings.

And in my heart, I thanked God for every beautiful in betweens. ✍️🙏💝