There was this particular song (tu aake dekhle) that I heard for the first time in my friend's car while I was on vacation and visiting home. I don't know what it was..maybe the vacation vibes that matched in the song and made me feel happy and loved or it was the company of friends that my soul yearned for...
(Back in BLR)
It was a friday morning while washing clothes at the terrace under the open sky I was enjoying some good album songs...
I then selected that song and immediately without much thought, turned the 'Loop audio'- On. In that very moment I experienced a deep awareness about how I have been on endless mental trips in a loop...be it a broken relationship, a sour friendship, an uncertain future, questions that were never answered, self criticism ...majorly the discomforting events! One that I keep playing in loop in my mind and then make efforts to get back to the now, ease of a bit, allow myself to be ok....that life happens and that it's a Journey.
I tell myself, the harder you love or trust the harder it hits back....so that's ok. The beauty of it all is that I experienced and I would probably die empty....coz I loved deeply and believed in people...I put my total faith in them. Rest is their journey too and I need to learn to let go; which I know is the most painful and almost impossible task for me...but possibly life is putting me in this loop for me to give it a try and be easy on self. Life goes on ..whether I wish or no...
So best is to be more aware and tune-in to 'what is not wrong'...put effort to let that be a Loop that I switch on as an auto pilot.
And also know it's all a choice and I am allowed to make one with all my heart and grace.
From the song...(https://youtu.be/16jSQ0xdJKU)
लोग कहते मुझ को ग़लत, मैं रखता तेरी तलब
पर क्या करूँ? तेरी तस्वीरों को देख के उठती तड़प
मैं रोकता खुद को नहीं, आँसू आ जाते हैं
मैं वो नहीं जो करे प्यार किसी से भी नाम का रख के फ़रक़....
Thank you
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