Diwali & Home

This time of the year, it's time to go back home. 

Off-late, I have been on and off with back to back travels, change of places & people context etc and  I am feeling a bit disconnected with self and deplited within.

And, unlike many, travel to home does create a sense of unease and overwhelm too.

I asked myself - then, why do I go to home? Why do I well-being?

And the answer I get is - the home visit is crucial to my existence. There are those I love and I know in my heart that without them saying so, they do look forward to seeing me or other kids who are now remote or spending that time we get in between the busyness and distant lives of us all.

I do not have anything to give back to them except for my experiences, my stories of work and travel or connections, to bring a wave of fresh perspective to their static mundane life in which they are all growing-old. 

A deeper truth is, All I have with me is my now with them and I know one day they all will be gone. The place I grew-up won't be the same anymore and then, all I will be left would be the walls eitched with memories of love, laughter, care and sharing.

Another thing is the touch with my own cultural practices (especially food) which I am loosing slowly as I do not find a purpose on my own to continue them or pass it to anyone around....so the best I can do it to soak-up and be the purpose (that is missing in my own life) to their celebration.

If I may ask, what aspect of home you feel called to?

- Lunch together in big one plate either with bade papa, Papa or ladies of the house and those loud laughters

- During those quiet afternoon, to smell the past and dwell into all that was lined-up for me in form of people, guidance, trust etc that lead upto to my 'today'

- Find small projects like cleaning an unattended corner, clearing old utensils and replacing with new ones and getting lost in the memories of people who are not there anymore or say find myself in those memories

- The slow-paced life and a sense of earthing that I feel when I am not triggered. 

- attending visitors, keeping up with how we all change as humans, In our own relationships and that of when we have new add ons.

- Smallest and forgotten acts of kindness that we don't see in big cities eg. The first chapati always to be kept for cows, donation in form of one cup of wheat flour or oil when a begger is at doorsteps.

- Talking to plants. Helping in the kitchen with all the Diwali savouries

- Hogging on delicious Chulhe ka khana (Traditional stove made of mud, cow dung and fired using dry leaves and wooden sticks)

- Rekindling the selfless-love that dwells in the small towns, in lack of or presence of just enough means, in villages of India, in those folks who live by Mother earth and have surrendered their lives to her in her wellbeing and nurturing.

I am amazed at this list and this also reassures me that I can do well by focusing on all the above and not get bogged by any triggers that may happen. Because somewhere, another deeper belief for my own healing or ease is to go thru it and not avoid or run-away, rather learn to deal with it.

Love, grace and gratitude.

Thanks you God for being my inner strength and my light and for all the wisdom.

(✈️ Tomorrow at 5am)