Similar to churning of an ocean, to bring up deep hidden treasures; a mind and heart has to go thru a journey into the deepest depth of one's feelings and emotions to let the treasure of words weave into a story.
(This corner - the lamps and metal idol, stole my heart. It felt like a mini pilgrimage)
Even though this post could have been published long ago, it took me a little longer and no, I din't attempt to write it in parts either. I wasn't in the flow to re-live that magical experience of my Srirangam temple visit nor was I focused enough, something or the other was taking away my attention.
After the second post, a part of me was also deeply attached and was hesitant to let go or reach the completion. Which would have meant - leaving behind the memories as words, of that fulfilling feeling, resonance, the bliss, how things fell in place, all at once, how I was guided to take the first step in the direction of my heart's calling i.e booking the train ticket.
Just to recall, I started the blogpost series about my Srirangam temple visit, after seeing the dry flower garland which I had safely put between the pages of a book (Lion's tracker guide to life), I was reading then and one day it slipped off and fell in my lap, exactly when I was thinking of writing my experience but had also given-up on that thought thinking it's too much or that I am not enough to write about it.
I had ended my second post at - how I found solace amidst the moon lit night and slept peacefully facing the temple and the full moon, visible thru the windows and the curtains were spread in a two dimensional tent like setup.
-- now let's get to the last day of my visit:
I had put an alarm for 5:00 a.m. , it was Saturday morning, a day regarded as an important day for the temple Deity and the temple was expected to be crowded. I was yet to decide whether to wear a newly gifted green saree or traditional Indian salwar suit. This was the very first time in my life that I was carrying a saree along, on a solo trip. I was very new to this part of me, one, who would even think of wearing a saree. With whatever was happening in my mind and my being, of how memories were flashing from the experiences that my body had stored, good or bad. It was hard for me to decide upon the dress that I should wear to the temple that morning, limiting voices were clouding my mind.
Then, I sat with myself infront of the dressing mirror, looked into my eyes and for a few minutes, attended to the anxiousness by questioning the thoughts and dissecting them - my truth or false beliefs.
I decided that I will keep aside all fear of comparison - whether I can carry or even wear a saree comfortably or not. Will I make a fool of myself if it is not tied properly etc etc.
To my surprise, I was ready in 30 minutes itself, including tackling the most difficult part of arranging pleates.
After I got ready, my body was shivering. My heart was experiencing palpitations, something that comes from the low self-esteem, even when one is looking good or when I get conscious of all the eyes on me. I consoled myself saying that it's just a visit and if I experience any discomfort, I can get back to hotel, change into a suit and step out again.
I immediately left a message to Mr. K, my local guide and trip planner. After few minutes I get a call from the reception that Mr K is waiting downstairs for me and din't carry his wallet or Mobile.
I took my handbag, locked the room and headed to the reception where I was left dumbstruck seeing Mr.K in his Pooja attire (South Indian), I felt a little embarrassed seeing him with limited clothes on his body but then I withdrew from any further contemplation and focused on my souls journey - longing for this temple visit and to witness for the first time, what is stored for me... On this journey of my heart's calling.
Looking at me, Mr K. complimented - " you look good yaar and not at all like any amature Saree clad girl; one who would either drape a saree unevenly i.e too fitted or loose and then walk awkwardly" . I didn't know how to internalize this, I was nervous and extremely conscious that I am not perceived differently just because I look good in saree. My mind couldn't decide if those words are compliments or a hint/ ask.
He also commented on the print of my saree and I happily and proudly shared that it was a gift from my neighbour. Now, a part of me felt a bit confident too; after all Mr. K. runs a saree business and at-least I can be confident about what he saw and acknowledged about saree draping.
Meanwhile, Mr. K reminded me that it is Saturday and the temple would get crowded sooner and that we should aim at completing the whole parikrama in about 60 to 90 minutes, around the temple across different deities.
As we were walking through the giant gate. Mr. K. inform me that the only Mantra the I should keep chanting all through is 'Om Namo Narayana' (ॐ नमो नारायणः). At this juncture, I had a little seed of respect sprouted for Mr K. and his generosity.
On my way, as I was super excited about whatever was taking place, I also shared with him that Krishna aur Krishnan has been a constant name in all of my soulful trips that is - Bhutan at Tiger nest Monastery or Srirangam...
It was a quite morning but the whole passage from that of main giant entrance, leading-up to the temple was very lively with vendors on both sides, primarily flower vendors. I loved seeing them and those fresh flowers and something in my heart lifts-up when I think of the fate of flower, of those vendor's tender care for those flowers etc. At a small vendor shop (just a platform with some Tulsi, Lotus buds and Dhurva) I picked-up two Lotus buds and some dhurva, I did ask Mr. K which flower does the deity/ God loves or which is the usual flower offered to Mr. Ranganatha swamy? He said take a Lotus.
Since, I was wearing a saree, I wished if I could put a white Gajra (garland) for my hair bun. For a moment, I remembered Maa, she always loves Gajra, especially on certain occasions and I believe that urge is genetically wired with me, because of her. But on the contrary a few other thoughts stopped me from thinking about it, I mean, a bit of Jainism (being considerate about other visible and invisible tiny organisms, including nature) and I just told myself, it ok dear.
At few places, I stopped and clicked a few pics too but Mr. K was taking a walkathon speed and I had to follow him. A part of me was grateful for his presence and a part was tensed and nervous...my gut was telling me something else. Near to the temple, we left our footwear's at a stationary shop, it was the closest to the temple main entrance door.
With the intensity of our walking, my mind was also racing with thoughts and heart was experiencing disbelief that I am 'here'...everything that lead to this day, this visit etc...
As we entered, there was a square varandah sort with the Dwaja pole; pointing at a navigation board near the next entrance wooden door, Mr.K said that the main deity's temple is straight, then there are many other shrines like (Ranganayaki and Chakkaratalvar, Ramajunam etc) in the complex. He also shared that devotees primarily visit the Ranganayaki first and then then Ranganatharswamy, stating that she is a very powerful deity here and commands that respect and once a year only she is taken out.
(looks like I underestimated the vastness of my experience and limitations of my words....+ the curiosity that I get lost in while searching for certain name, words on google but end-up finding more about this temple, the belief, architecture etc. shall attempt to return to this post again tomorrow...)
(Resumed on Apr/23/2025, 8am; during office commute)
We started walking towards Ranganatharswamy shrine and there were two access points, one as a fast Forward (by passing any que) and second was thru the que that moves in a reptile form where humans are guided with metal barricades; to me, it's pure crowd management and a bit of politics and some bit of business too. Afterall for fast forward access devotees have to pay and take a token.
I was carrying some bit of cash but was also following Mr. K and he seemed to have a way with the folks as his wife comes everyday to this temple and they all know her and him. In my heart I just said, I am ok with any path that you suggest. And the next minute, I see Mr. K having a word with the executive at the fast forward access gate, in Tamil (I don't understand much). He was let go in, first and I followed.
I was walking with mixed emotions of nervousness, self-doubt, awe for the heritage of this structure and disbelief that I am here!...(As I write I experience it again). And sometimes it makes me think...if there are no coincidence in life's events, then what invited me to this space?
We had to walk in que and around the ancient stone pillars, Pillars that have carving and are treated with chemicals for their longevity. the pillars also marks the specific area within that hall as a designated area for certain tasks for the deities to be carried out.
Mr. K pointed at a central structure of four pillars between them, on the platform was a Silver pot with carving, shaped like sprouted vessel and said that this is used to bring water from a nearby well during Bramha muhurt and a elephant is used for the transportation. Also, every morning the Deity's chambers opens in the presence of an Elephant, a horse and a bull. I felt and instant gratitude for the people who are able to keep the traditions alive with such selfless devotion and that in such an era of where we Humans are so entangled and have lost the sensitivity towards nurturing and caring for people and nature, Animals are sharing the load. 🙏💕
And during one of my conversation with Mr. K, he mentioned that the ways of living for this city and it's dwellers was already written by Ramajunam.
Luckily, there weren't many people around except for the temple assistants and many Pujari's or pandits.
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(Resumed on 7th May 2025)
My hands were full with a bunch of druva grass and two lotus and with the thoughts of continuity and maintenance of this huge temple, I was also holding folded currency notes between my ring finger and pinky finger, such that it was hidden under the flowers and dhruva.
As we were approaching near the main Deity's sanctum-sanctorium, Mr. K Informed me to do the Darshan starting from the Lotus feet and upwards towards the face. Whenever I visit temples, I usually close my eyes with hands folded in gesture of deep gratitude and prayers. I believe that the connection is felt in the heart and open eyes calls for unwanted distractions.
But Mr. K advice kept me alert. The que got cleared and I dint know what to do, I was frozen in and for a moment, Mr. K nudged, go ahead....and I went near to the Pujari's standing inside the barricades or gate of the main chamber...asa I went ahead on the platform near me, I saw an empty brass plate and something in me let me drop off cash from my hands into the plate...
But my heart was elated and joyous to see the deity in blissful morning hours, well decorated and to top it up, the Pujari's opened the gate for me to enter in the chamber. I couldn't believe my fate and the reality, felt as if I was day dreaming, I wondered and also questioned myself of the cash was the reason or something magical wa at play?
After ghe darshan, I was stepping back and that's when one of ghe Pujari gave me Gajra, and the moment got more surreal, my whole being knew that magical experience and how I was heard
That flower garland, straight from the deity became my precious possession and my heart was filled with love and gratitude.
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Getting to know mr. K a bit better
Darshan of trio
R n meditation
Pc
Sign
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