My lost lore and self-discovery

From that of lost self, lost relationships, now I have a new addition to my lost lore!

The thing I am talking about is not as valuable  compared to the dent that a relationship or self-awareness can make; but it was dear to me.

I was looking forward to it like a lost beloved. searching frantically for the other partner in every tiny room of her memory, in the music that reminds her of the other, in the words spoken, in the care expressed and made to be believed as the truth, in every way she never existed but was carved out from her ordinary being and then... puff! it all disappears. 

The thing I am talking about is the tiny postcard I had written to myself. Earlier this June, I was visiting Singapore for an official event and while I was there, I met this kind hearted, bubbly colleague of mine. She follows this ritual to send a note to her friends, husband and to herself from every place she visits, either on work or leisure.

I don't know what made her pick-up one such postcard for me and she surprised me at the murugan idli shop, on the last evening of our Singapore stay by saying - " here you go! Write on these cards, one to your family and make sure the other is for you. I am telling you, you will love it when you receive these cards and read the message you wrote on them. It is an experience one should definitely try firsthand".

Though, this sounded little silly to me and the emotional state, I was in; I was reluctant and was behaving more like a tarnished soul (someone living with deep hopelessness and victimized kind of self image) but I couldn't stand the genuine request of my colleague and her kindness to even think of me and buy me two cards without my knowledge.

I sat to to write, the first postcard was addressed to my family, back at my hometown... Just wrote -  enquiring about their well-being and that I am writing from Singapore at a Murugan idly shop which appears too funny to me. I also shared a bit about my colleague and her postcard ritual"

When it was second one - special to me. I don't know what changed after the first postcard, my spirits were uplifted, I was elated to write the second. Especially, because it was for myself. 

The whole thought of - me sitting far away from the motherland and addressing the future me who may receive the postcard and more importantly the message in it. And all I knew was - I wanted it to be a special one. One that I deserve! One filled with words dipped in ink of compassion and honour for my own self. 

And that's what I did. I that limited space to write, I opened my heart for myself, acknowledging how much I am loved and adored, honouring the courage and grace, how far I have come and yet the joy I find in simplest of life's treasures and how such miracles (Colleague and the postcard) are God sent for my wellbeing and ease.

There was something so magical about this whole experience. And now, that my Colleague has already received her postcard whereas I haven't... It makes me long for it but this lost lore also helps me  keep the experience as timeless and beautiful as I please to; forever in my heart ❤️.

Gajra - Garland with the fragrance of Love

It was one of those usual Sunday. But mine was special because I was gradually ramping-up back with  my wellbeing, recovering after a two days of bed-rest due to flu. And I believe that was partially because I had fun filled and carefree bath under the rain showers (absolutely no regrets!! but only love :)) and partially because of all the extra work stress at office, my revolt and eventually the emotional breakdown...:(

Never mind, I was in the 'today' and back to the event that touched me the most. It was the Gajra's. 
Gajra's are floral garlands worn as hair accessories, primarily by the women of the house. I do not know much about the cultural significance of them but I get deeply allured by them. I believe Gajra's adds a magical touch to a women's radiance and vital energy of bliss and grace. I have also seen my mom's love for it and she wearing them at rare occasions.

While writing this post, I remembered - Twelve years ago, I had a chance to travel with my roommate to her native place and we visited a temple near Vijaywada (Andhra) where the women's are required to follow dressing rules and are allowed with a traditional attire only. Because I was carrying only indo-western dresses, I choose one from my friend's old traditional dress stock -The south-indian Half Saree and upon her Mom's insistence wore a Garja too. There was a deep sense of Joy and freedom. I somehow felt whole and at peace. 

Probably getting ready in an Indian traditional attire was something deeply rooted to my childhood happy memories. It reminded me of Navratri Festival, when Mom would dress-me up in different Sarees each of those nine days celebration and I would go to play Garba (Dandiya). I would spend hours in-front of the mirror just staring at me, in the sheer awe of my being in traditional dress. Those are one of my most cherished memories.  

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          (The south-indian Half Saree)

Well, today it wasn't me who had donned the Gajra, but my neighbour, her mother-in-law and distant relative as they were heading for a family function. When they got ready and were waiting for the cab to arrive, I offered to click pictures so that they don't feel bored with the unexpected long-wait for the cab and they all happily agreed. They were two elderly couples and a younger one (my friend & her husband). 

The ladies were all beautifully dressed in different bright silk sarees and all had tied the Gajra to their hairs. The flowers looked fresh and added a different aura to each of their personalities. I complimented them for those Gajra's and my friend acknowledged that her husband went out this morning and on his return he picked some from a flower vendor and surprised us all. 

The thing that touched me most was how pure and wholistic is the love of a guy who understands his women and her needs without even being asked for. It shows the devotion, dedication and humbling sensitivity which is translated in such gracious gesture. 

Each of those ladies (A mother, a Wife and an Aunt) was flaunting their Gajra's like a Queen and swayed it  with an inexplainable pride. May the feminine continues to bloom in the unspoken love of the masculine and May each of these energies weave and blossom in there highest potential navigating above and far from the shackles of false ego, shame, guilt, stereotype and baseless societal view points.