And one such thing is (if one is still an employee), on a workday, taking time away. To take it slow, spend some meaningful time with a good friend or invest in a relationship to nurture self and be. Do things that connects us to our own individual selves.
Value and make space for a much required 'Pause'
At my work place, as I deal with a limbo state where I do not know if me presenting the facts on a certain workload (which also meant commitment for an extreme level of context switching), will be addressed in a right light or will be decided differently. I find myself distant and unwilling or say being made to feel the trouble maker or possibly it's my overthinking consuming me.
And dealing with it since last three months has taken it's fair share of toll on my wellbeing I.e. sleeplessness due to stress which I din't know how to navigate and build a muscle against, the unfavorable voices in head etc. And after one final meet with a senior leader (a day back, presenting the complexity of that situation and the need that certain policies needs to be revisited; helped me unburden myself and a deep sense of relief was felt. Afterall, as a cautionary step, my mind was always engaged in the thoughts of what next and how and where....
Since, there is only this much in my hand, I decided I need to learn to focus on myself because work will eventually be taken care off. I am just one another headcount on the budgeting sheet. And I made a promise to myself to schedule 'Nothing time' and also a day in a few weeks to celebrate my uniqueness....my whole being.
Today being the start of this promiss, I had invited a friend for lunch, she happened to be my ex-colleague too and recently been on sabbatical from corporate and is currently partnering with her husband on a startup and some research projects. From the time I went to pick her at the metro station, vegetable shopping to cooking, resting under the warm sun and munching the fresh season grapes, to deep talks, journeys of our individual lives, funny conversations over evening ginger tea, Remembering childhood and the cultures we grew up in, aging parents, patience to what we want from life or to give in our current phases of life... It was deeply therapeutic.
Something, I am unable to recollect when was the last time that I engaged in such simple pleasures of life, such days where we flow with life with free flowing thoughts and being ourselves...
This was the first time she was visiting home and as soon as she entered, she complimented and acknowledged that she felt some very positive vibes and that filled my heart with deep sense of gratitude and comfort in the knowing.
We had also done some sankranti shopping i.e ellu-bella (white sesame and Jaggery combo), along with few other things like roasted peanuts, dry coconut, and some roasted grams...which is customary that every hindu household will exchange this as a mark of Hindu new year...and a gratitude to mother earth for the first harvest of the season and all the bounty.
At that mark, towards the evening we wrapped our day, bid byes untill we meet again.
After she left, I realised how important it is for us to connect, build relationships, build that space to accept eachother with our flaws and leave that in the past, move forward, take a break from all the roles that we are playing - willingly or per our fate i.e a worker, a mom, a wife, a daughter or a son, friend etc and this post is dedicated to those moments of mindless indulgence and celebrating the social circles and us.
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