Temples, boating and Initiation paralysis

I had a wonderful day yesterday with visits to temples all thru the first half of the day and there after wonderful temple meals.

The temples we visited were primarily Demi Gods and it was wonderful to see the faith of locals and the innocence with which they all come to the Amman Temples, how it is the sole GOD - Generator, Operator and Destructor of this land. There were offerings of those giant petal like bud which is grown from the beetal nut tree..the seeds are packed in it and those seeds are the offerings to such temples and is considered immensely holy.

There was a temple where devotees would come and offer those tender strings of beetal seeds and it will be placed on the crown of the Demi deities and questions or prayers or wishes will be shared. Those strings will fell on its own...and that will be the response from the deity, depending on the side where it fell. I had tears at that point seeing how energies work.

Well, the second half of my day was all about a wonderful honaver Boating....I so desperately wanted and was wishing for one...since the time I had come here. The boat rider was also nice with amazing photography skills :). And then the last part of the day was about attending 100 vocalists singing devotional songs and wishing the Lt. GSB guru who completed 100th birthday, followed by dinner. I was amazed by the organisation and scale of this event and how most of such things were all sponsored.

(It all started with this leisure time activity, a boat from a tag)

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Well, today morning around 6:30am I came to my favourite place - The Beach⛱️! Did a few breathing exercise, chanting and a bit more of reflection, at one point I brokedown thinking that I have to depart today evening and I was sobbing, I felt silly about myself and amaized that I have no one around to watch me like this and felt relieved, but then the tears also settled 😃😆

I remembered that, two days back, Gemini (AI bot) had wished me that gushing waves would answer me all my questions...and so here I was stuck with one - where do I start ?

This also put me face to face with the experience I had dealt, mostly unknowingly i.e. of Initiation paralysis! a term I came across earlier this year.

Google search says  ' IP' and 'trauma' are linked by a psychological concept where trauma, especially chronic trauma, can lead to an inability to start tasks due to the brain being stuck in a survival mode... And every bit of it was true for me. 

Sitting at this beach, in the morning hot sun...I am still feeling foggy in my head about where to begin the shif in my life, of that of heading back home permanently, getting on to business of farming which is a gamble (as Papa says) or even leaving the comfort of monthly salary which allows me the freedom to go around and just be me. At the moment, it all feels like a catch 22 situation but in my heart I know it will all workout beautifully.

I am happy for the gift of naturopathy and the knowledge I have been gaining, it is giving me directions that I shall start a herbal forest where ai grow all varieties of herbal trees and plants, care for them, live amongst a society that loves nature and is blessed by it, once those who bows down to it.

My not so cushiony bums are now hurting and I have to rush back home as yet to have breakfast...

Hope gushing waves have heard me and will help me align...

Thanks Maa.

And a deep felt gratitude to my host's, my friend R and her family for having me here again and accomodating vegetarianism for those days that I am here 🙏🌹. May God bless them all.