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Friday, July 12, 2024
Grateful for Everyday blessings
Tuesday, July 9, 2024
Old songs and watercolors..
Yup! Old songs (in loop), some inspiration and watercolors...gives me a different kind of high!
And....
And Atif Aslam for such soulful unplugged records.
Monday, July 8, 2024
I wish there was a wiggle room...
I wish there was a wiggle room... Between the silenced heart and the Roaring emotions...
I wish there was a wiggle room...
Between the strong waves of triggered hurt
And Tears struggling it's way, in the day-light
I wish there was a wiggle room...
Between the flashes of memories, itched Hard
And the sinking reality, far-apart.
I wish there was a wiggle room...
Between the lessons that life throws at us and
The lines we seek, in-between.
I wish there was a wiggle room...
From the path I was taking and
the one I was meant to...
I wish there was a wiggle room...
Between surrender and
Being uprooted...
I wish there was a wiggle room...
Between the literacy of 'acceptance'
And the wisdom of 'deliberate rehearsals'...
I wish there was a wiggle room...
Between a bond of faith and friendship and
that of cerritude and estrangement
I wish there was a wiggle room...
In what looked like eternity and
Lived only to define 'mortality'.
I wish there was a wiggle room...
To breath and choose,
To walk a new path and be my-own.
Sunday, July 7, 2024
Wonderful bond of Faith - Brahminy Kite and me
7th July 2024
(Artificial intelligence version)
A cold wind whipped across the terrace yesterday evening as I paced in an "infinity loop," audiobook playing but unheard. My mind was a whirlwind – thoughts of relocation, work, self-doubt, all swirling together. Suddenly, a sticky web brought me back to reality with a jolt. This wasn't your average spiderweb; it was strangely strong and clung to me like a thousand invisible spikes.
A giggle escaped my lips as I imagined the scene from my neighbor's perspective – a spotlight illuminating my frantic attempts to disentangle myself, a scene straight out of a Mr. Bean show.
Needing a break from the mental clutter, I looked up. The vast sky, ever-present, offered solace. Birds dotted the twilight canvas, their silhouettes a calming sight. My heart quieted, replaced by a peaceful exhaustion.
One last gaze skyward before bidding it goodnight, a deep longing filled me. The Brahminy Kite, a rare and auspicious visitor, had been absent for far too long. Often, I'd spot them while doing chores or enjoying a cup of tea on my balcony, their graceful flight a source of constant joy.
With a silent request, I expressed my wish to see them again.
This morning, amidst a flurry of other kites, a Brahminy Kite appeared. Elated and filled with awe, I stood there, the magic of the moment a beautiful answer to a simple yearning.
This experience served as a reminder – sometimes, the greatest comfort lies in the simple act of looking up, appreciating the vastness above, and reconnecting with nature's wonders.Let's take a step back to 'yesterday evening' when I was feeling a bit low and wanted to engage in some activity to breakaway from the dullness, feeling of exhaustion from overthinking. I chose to play an audio book and take 'infinity-loop' walk on the terrace. The weather was cold and bit windy too...with no traces of rains.
Though, I was listening to the audio book, my thoughts eventually drifted from: relocating to home-town, the practicality of it, to whether continue with the current employer or move away or even re-start with permaculture and a farm-stay back at home, to ongoing events at office, to sports (I would like to engage with), to self doubt, to present - maintain an 'infinity loop' with my foot steps, to the messy, sticky and itchy spider or ant's web that I got entangled with!
From Gentle Hands to Brushed Aside: A Lesson in Lost Sensitivity
Sunday, June 30, 2024
Journey to a sacred place (Chidambaram) turned into a Dance Odyssey
Since my last post, my mind has been stealing moments amidst the hectic travels, meeting families, close relatives, kids, attending functions and rituals – all to reminisce about last June (2023) and recall every small detail about my visit to the Chidambaram temple.
A part of my journey was captured in my last post, where I talked at length about meeting a little girl named Sinduja on my bus journey from Pondicherry to Chidambaram. I also mentioned how I missed my destination and was dropped a bit ahead of my stop.
I started walking back towards the temple. On my left, a narrow passage led towards a huge entrance gate – the front gate of the temple. The passage was lined with small shops selling puja items, juices, and holy threads. The closest one to the temple gate was a "paid" shoe rack where all visiting devotees left their footwear, and I did the same.
**It was a sunny day, and the heat was unbearable. With bare feet, one could almost feel like they were being asked to walk on hot coals – bottoms up!""
I stepped towards the main entrance and touched the groundsill (a gesture to seek blessings from Mother Earth and pay respect to this holy land). I was overwhelmed by the magnificent architecture ahead of me, contrasting with the simplicity of the people around me – a complete paradox. From the exterior, no one could gauge the magnificence of the temple, its courtyard, or the lore it embodies.
I was also deeply grateful for this dream come true. Every detail spoken about this temple, by my colleague was ringing in my head. The excitement of exploring a new place all by myself was unparalleled, yet there was a deep sense of familiarity that unfolded with each step. Within that short time, my mind also recalled how meeting Sinduja had already marked the journey with such blissfulness, thanks to the knowledge she shared about the art form Bharatanatyam and it's association with the temple god, Nataraja.
What had made me curious to visit this place was when my colleague mentioned the geological significance - CHIDAMBARAM is the centre point of earth's magnetic equator and out of the Pancha Bootha Sthalams (are the five Shiva temples that represent the primary elements of earth, water, air, fire, and space) this temple reflects the space element. And how one can attain a speedy spiritual growth due to this space element.
Today, as I write this post, I recall the astonishing facts I came across during my research (likely found through Google Search) about this temple. One such question that piqued my interest was: "*What is the spiritual significance of Chidambaram temple?"
It represents the exuberance of creation, the dance of creation which self-created itself from the eternal stillness. Nataraja standing in Chidambaram is very symbolic because what you call as Chidambaram is just absolute stillness. That is what is enshrined in the form of this temple."
...and how I had to force myself to stop and pull back each time. The whole exercise of roping each event from my memory was resurrecting the journey in my heart. It almost felt like being on a pilgrimage.
In-fact, I could continue to key-in this blogpost only by listening to the Nadaswaram. 🙏
Back at the temple, I took my first step inside, and my ears were greeted with soulful music (timestamp: 6:12). I later learned it's called Nadaswaram. The music didn't just touch my eardrums but my soul in a way that anchored my being. An invisible string of drum-rolls seemed to pull me, and my steps began to find their own course towards the source of the music somewhere inside the temple.
The surrounding courtyard was unlike anything I'd ever witnessed, and the music echoed within it. It filled me with a feeling of home, celebration, and liberation from any heaviness in my heart or mind. Halfway through, I noticed a group of dancers on my left. All of them were women aged 18 and up, clad in vibrant red Bharatanatyam costumes. The sight was enthralling, accentuated by the raw grey stone courtyard floor. From a distance, a few young girls gracefully walked towards the group, their ankle bells marking their steps with a beautiful sound in the temple premises. Collectively, it all felt like a celebration of some sort, taking place on a regular day. I felt even more elated to be present there.
Thereon, I followed a family walking ahead of me, visited the main temple, attended the Aarti (morning prayers), and received Lord's Darshana. While lost in my thoughts and the beauty surrounding me, amidst the gathered devotees, I saw a tall, bearded man (around 45 years old) walking in, dressed in casual white kurta-pyjama but carrying a briefcase. His body language clearly indicated a connection to music, and it dawned on me that the briefcase might hold a harmonium. There have been many times in my life when I've met or seen people and felt an instant connection, and the same was true with this man's presence. However, my attention was drawn back to the ongoing prayers.
While doing Pradakshina, I saw a few more dancers, an elderly man (seemingly the master), and a lady in a beautiful blue-pink silk saree with a border; joining the gentleman. Sensing a possible performance at the temple premises, and with childlike curiosity, I followed the dance troupe everywhere they went. A few cameramen were also there, probably wondering what was wrong with me (^_^). But I simply couldn't resist my curiosity, especially at the abode of Nataraja, the God of Dance. Every event that unfolded began to feel like a blessing.
Shortly after the main prayer, the dance troupe walked around the long temple corridor and chose a corner of the inner periphery. This position allowed them to face the main deity while they performed. However, just as they were about to begin, they had to pause abruptly. A senior priest from temple, carrying a replica of the main idol, led a procession followed by musicians and other junior priests chanting mantras. This procession circled the temple three times before the idol was placed back in the sanctum sanctorum.
The dispersed troupe regrouped and began rearranging the musical instruments, microphones, and mats. They set up a place for the lead singer in the front row and another for the main dance instructor (master). Meanwhile, the student girls lined up in order of seniority, with the most experienced dancer at the front, ready to perform Bharatanatyam.
While everyone was busy, I took the opportunity to approach the lady in the saree. I introduced myself and asked her about the whole setup. "What's going on here?" I inquired. "Is there an upcoming function you're all practicing for? Or is this some kind of event for social media? (Because two cameramen were following you all along...)"
Surprised and curious, I almost forgot I was in a temple. The familiarity I felt with the scene deepened. The kind lady explained that this was a landmark event for all the graduating Bharatanatyam students. As a mark of respect and to seek blessings, the students traditionally perform for Lord Nataraja first. To my surprise, all of them were Malaysians except for the main dance master, who hailed from Tamil Nadu but had relocated to Malaysia long ago.
The lady was very soft-spoken and friendly. We even clicked pictures together. During our exchange of greetings, a gesture of hers touched my heart. I still find it hard to believe the circumstances that conspired for me to be there at that moment. The lady placed a tilak (ash mark) on my forehead and with humble words explained that I held great significance for her and her troupe. Although I initially thought I was just an extra audience member in the background, her words touched deeply. She explained that since they were in the temple of the 'Dance God', offering the grace of Bharatanatyam to the Divine, my presence as their first audience made me, in a way, equivalent to a divine presence. I stood there speechless, filled with awe.
The lady rushed back to join the rest of the troupe for the performance. With a smile, she bid me farewell. They arranged themselves in a semicircle on the corridor floor. The lead singer, positioned in the center with a microphone, was flanked on her right by the master, who would sing the solfege or make clapalongs. The harmonium player sat at the far right, with the remaining musicians to her left. I found myself a perfect spot on a nearby platform, offering a spectacular view of the entire setup – undoubtedly better than what the cameramen could capture.
The lady soon waved to the students, and the rest of the troupe was ready to begin the performance. The echoing melody and the rhythmic clinking of the ankle bells transformed the corridor into a magical space. In that moment, I was undoubtedly the guest of honor, sharing in the divine grace of Shiva and witnessing this breathtaking display of artistic devotion.This post would be incomplete if I do not share the meaning of word (*Source - Google Search) Bharatanatyam* -derived by joining two Sanskrit words: 'Natyam' meaning dance and 'Bharata' which is a mnemonic containing 'Bha' (bhava/emotions), 'Ra' (raga/melody), and 'Ta' (tala/rhythm). Thus, Bharatanatyam means a dance that expresses Bhava, Raga, and Tala.
Saturday, June 15, 2024
A girl named Sindhuja who introduced me to Bharatham (Bharathnatyam)
Looking for a canteen, I was disappointed. Soon, the bus signaled for boarding.Approaching the bus, I joined the queue behind a young girl named Sindhuja. Her demeanor was composed and humble, suggesting someone easy to talk to. Her eyes sparkled with the same kind of passion for a dream held close to heart. (similar to, that I use to have in earlier years of my life :))