Ho'oponopono prayer

The 'whys' continued, and I wokeup to a fierce rain and a chill morning. 

I then did some surfing on YouTube and came across a video that talked about how a girl's repeated patterns and relationships that she chooses or attracts, are all an outcome of the deeper resonance of feelings, be it - grudges or hurt that she still carries from her bond (or lack of it) with her mother, Such is the depth of is her connection with her mother, with or without choice.

It made me reflect deeply on the course of my life and now scan every event which wounded me, through this new information.

At last, the video also guided me to do a Ho'oponopono meditation on monther to fix the same. 

I reluctantly engaged in it, thinking, 'I have come far away, and this is useless' until the repeatation of those prayer words took me back to certain moments which had my eyes filled with tears and the heart felt heavy, for missing, not recognising, or acknowledging the side of mom that was always there for me.

I wonder and ask the universe, 'Now, why this information and where do I go with it? Rather, which direction?'. The information will only leave me swinging back and forth between my past and present....so what's the use? Let me crawl at my own pace and deal with life as it comes...

Well, I knew if I stayed a little longer in my bed, I would be consumed by endless thinking, and the outcome could be undesirable and disheartening. I din't want yet another day with either a headache or puffy eyes.

I pulled myself up, started with the daily chores, planned my breakfast, and then got into some bit of stretching and warmup exercises to keep my mind at ease -- and I love that about me. 

After a soulful breakfast and the best-suited beverage for the day — steaming Filter coffee☕ — my neighbours and I chose to deal with the day a bit differently and we sat for some arts and crafts. 

And I must say, my heart felt at home for those brief moments.

What I did for myself was a bookmark that I had loved; the price of it in a store was way too high (from my perspective) so I chose to create a similar copy for myself 🐒💕 (sorry to the original creator, but deep appreciation for the creativity and simplicity)

 And...it's time to reveal :)

Right from paper cutting, giving it a feel of a notebook's page, eyelet fixing and even sketching....it all lifted up my spirits 💝🙏.

That led me to make a vision board for a dream house I would someday want to live in...with a big lawn, humble flooring like that of olden days, a swing in the open courtyard and loads of trees and a lotus pond....+++

Dreams!

-- Ty Tan & I Love you even more.🍃

A 'Me' Monday

 At this phase of my life where I have many un-answered 'Whys' and somedays it feels like I am on retirement mood, more so because slowly my aggression, passion and motivation to continue to work in the current role or say to work for purely earning money and be financially independent; alongside also manage some corpus for parents etc is getting almost checked, or say, I feel it so.

Sometimes, with AI coming in picture, it feels the world may be getting more challenging for new generation to start with and I sometimes take that burden on my shoulders that possibly, I need to make space for them...by probably leaving a space I am in. Afterall they might have dreams to live and family to support too.

When I reflect on these passing thoughts, in the hindsight, it feels like the shock of loosing some of my best peers to that of current layoffs, is still lingering and as an overly vigilant individual, such safety measures or thoughts leading to that mental safety, naturally crops-up. 

Alongside this emotional rollercoaster, and knowing life is short (at-least the work-life) in the current era...sometimes, I keep myself motivated by simple events that either I plan or am being blessed with and one-such day was today, I can call it A Me-Monday. Why?..

When I carry a smal box with specific Jeera-Khari biscuits, to office, to dip & have it with my ginger tea :P

Wear a comfy attire and  those bright footwear that makes me feel the most carefree or probably more eccentric :)

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A 90 mins full body massage <3 (one of the perks @ work & my motivation :P)

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Bonus? when rain God is showering mercilessly. Where driving becomes an adventurous task with almost zero visibility.  (Confession - I did ask for the rains a night before, but never knew my wish will be granted with uber power & intensity and such continuity to go on for three + days)

When I am blessed with neighbour's and landlords who are more like my Family and pamper me with so much love and food!! Such blessings are precious to me.  I missed my family and had tears when the thought deeply touched me — to know how blessed I am. Uncle aunty's presence makes me feel I am near my own parents and felt equally cared for and looked after🤞. May God bless them.

Some online shopping where one spends days and nights, searching for one or more specific products, locate them or select the one close to the choice and when it gets shipped, eventually return most of them citing - quality not upto my liking :(. 

but the best part would be when we all girls (neighbour's) would sit together with three different phones, multiple online shopping platforms and drill down the specifications of a particular product  or surf to the extent that all off us will get motivated to shop...irrespective of if we need anything or no...the need can be created :D 

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With all this, I love my space to be able to get back to this blog, one post at a time (no matter how random or meaningless it may look or sound), to explore the depths of my emotions or sometime just make peace with them or learn from them. There are those days too, when I am the most unforgiving and will be hurting but then some or the other blessings come my way to heal me, help me find a way or at-least navigate the emotional tides. 

A little part of the credit also goes to me allowing myself to flow with the day (yesterday), at a day outing with my crazy bunch of neighbours, just being kids again....having fun amidst the nature (@Pyramid Valley), playing badminton, laying on the green lawns, caressing the cows at Gaushala, enjoying some summer treats and also painting <3. My heart felt as if it has never been wounded and I am deeply grateful for that.

In fact, after returning, I attended to a long pending task of writing a note on an empty card...and just that exercise made me feel so much elated, more forgiving, free and  easy-going. 

 So, may be a Me-sunday too :P

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Love you Tan!🫂💝