Humpty Dumpty types fall

So I had to write this to feel relieved from the pain I am experience in the heart and also right thumb because I fell off from my bike in a very dramatic way infront of a veggie store and I was ignored (or i feel it that way😢 coz there was a Missing piece of stone block at the store front walkway.

Later I went to fill petrol and I wasn't sure if I would even be able  to ride my bike that far...but thankfully I could.

There were lot of thoughts running in my head and I had to fix something to get me out of those thoughts so while returning I thought of buying new shoes for my hiking tomorrow....

Actually it all started with another new set of shoes which I had bought online .. colour looked good but I wasn't sure if I will be able to use them for trekking and was a bit panicked as I dint have any other shoes either. 

Something was off with the fitting of the shoes which I got online. And while leaving home itself I had some unsettled feeling which was also triggered by the below message in the evening,  from a friend whom I have had a rough exchange of words this morning.....

(Hmmm... I am still on my way...Just FYI... Something came up yesterday evening due to which I am extremely disturbed... I am not myself and taking time to realign)

Jumping a few events forward one strange thing I noticed, while I was searching from one brand to another for my shoes I had this urge to check what it means to injure ones thumb (from Louise L. Hays books : you can heal your life) and shockingly It says : thumb represents intellect and worry and the affermation to heal was suggested as : my mind is at peace.

This very moment I am laughing in my heart that who in their right mind will not be at peace after having a glorious Humpty Dumpty fall 😅 (but thumb hurts and has become fluffy baby🤕). Aaj mujhe apne thumb ki value pata chal gayi.... everytime it hurts I knew I have to thank it all this years of partnership and ease in my day to day events right from chopping veggies by a holding the knife a certain way and not using a chopping board, to dressing up to even using a key in the 🚪 lock....

Past-life baggages or promises and How I avoided love

Last week I attended a two days past life regression session. To be honest, I am not really sure how far that worked with me but having experimented and experienced life from some of great teachings of Louise L. Hay...I know something did work or surfaced and me participating in that session in itself was a testimony of something working out for me for my higher good.

What let me to this session was - firstly the repeated pattern surfacing be it with my health or relationships.

Secondly,  seems my Dr. and healer had this Divine calling to offer me this 1:1 session inspite of dates being fully booked till September.

Also, early on my book reading journey, I happen to come across -many lives many masters by Dr Brian Weiss on past life regression therapy and his experiences with his patients. And somewhere I believed it and and understood how we go through multiple lives or incarnations  and how certain events nudge us in certain directions to get done with the learnings that soul needs to learn.

My session on D2 was extremely intense with memories emerging as flash of images transitioning from one to another and taking me to places and incarnations I have had not even imagined!. Images of people, places, experiences and even roles as men, women, child, animal or even rescuer. All from times in the past lives when my soul was in the body of many different beings having various day to day interactions and roles being played. What I carried was experiences right before I left my body from those lifetimes. I could go back to an era where I had found some strong resemblance with princess of Mandu Gadh - Rani Roopmati, to an era of battles and I was a warrior and peacefully contemplating the reason of that war (nos. That flashes were 53) and how life evolves and transitions from one life to another.

In one I saw a visual of a black baby whose head was covered with flies/ black bees and who I pulled out of somewhere from a yellowish  soil and his eyes were open but limbs were dried up and extremely skinny. The facilitator ask me if I know the baby and I said no I don't know I was asked to look at myself and if I see something which resonates I said I only see my hands which means maybe I was a rescuer or helper then I was asked to look at the baby right into the eyes I replied that those eyes strangely resemble someone I got to know very recently. I focused into the visual and look straight into the eyes of the baby a seems like was still or lifeless but I got a message saying "I love you mama", do I was into the session at this strange message I choked I had tears dropping one by one from my closed eyes. 

Another such horrifying event was recalled from some 10000 yrs old from where my soul took a engraved memory of believing that love means punishment and sacrifice. I saw that I was badly shamed inform of the society for loving someone and I was painted black and dropped into a pit with so many people (mainly men) and later I was tied to the walls of that dark pit and my private parts were made to be chewed off by a tiger.

After this all I felt exhausted as if It was all too deep and too overwhelming for me to  experienced such long held beliefs, baggages and still struggling to find a way out into my peace into the waking life

The return it all here this just make sense of it all and also give myself enough channels and time to let it all go because maybe I thought I'll be as free and fresh after the session but no waking life is a combination of habits it those believes I had held so long and one which  proved to be the right ones  over and over because I had to believe them.

Post the session it was also brief discussion about my childhood my relationship with my mom how I feel so ignore or maybe abandoned and the underlining believe about relationship or about fear of abandonment froze me over in over. I created situations where either I call for a mess so that I avoid abandonment.

I feel I have a lot to draft from those 2 days sessions but I would want to pause and just breathe. Breath Deep and believe. Believe that I can trust life believe that everything is working out for  my good and for my higher self.

A deep Sigh.....