What happens to 'her' afterwards?

What happens to 'her' afterwards? Nothing much; but...

When chaos settled in her surroundings...

She tries to make sense of it all...what just (had) happened?

She starts to piece memories together....

The happy and warm ones for her lonesome lost nights...

The unforgettable harsh ones to fight the day...wearing her armour - a smile and grace.

What happens to 'her' afterwards?

Nothing much; but...

She fails to understand why tears swell in her eyes and why morsel of her meals choke her...

All of it while listening to happy songs!

Has her mind forgotten the meaning of happiness? Or her heart being used often?

What happens to 'her' afterwards?

Nothing much; but...

She tries to find an anchor, an escape from dwelling questions in her mind...

By being out there - with change; of Place, People - she meet or chooses not to,

Or just in the meaningless busyness of the mundane.

What happens to 'her' afterwards?

Nothing much, but...

'Her world' shrunken... In conscience and in physicality, 

further on timelines of life and lifelessness 

She experiences myriad emotions in a blink of eye.

She isn't afraid of the chaos or stillness but dreaded!, rather feels challenged...

By Her own ethical boundaries and beliefs 

By Her own understanding of who 'she' is now And to 'whom?'

What happens to 'her' afterwards?

Nothing much; but...

She now doubts herself forever more...

If every single time the 'trust' she relay out to the world, to join hands...

If she is meant to shed every ounce of her dignity, her character...?

What happens to 'her' afterwards?

Nothing much; but...

She goes in and out of such cycles of woundless hurt,

Wonders if 'her' choices or mistakes can be forgiven...if there is a way back or if there exists her piousness...

What happens to 'her' afterwards?

Nothing much; but...

Keeping mum to the world...her knowledge of self paints a different story..

With colors of Dark and doomed, betrayed or abandoned...

What happens to 'her' afterwards?

Nothing much, but..

She muster-up courage in her broken shattered being...to believe that, possibly some day her path will lead her towards light...

That, a day would come when she wouldn't seek peace and belonging outside... rather she will breath her last in ease and glory.

A Travelogue - Inside out

While enroute to BLR from Nagpur...Freezing on the uppermost birth of IRCTC Rajdhani express 3rd AC coach...

Before shutting my eyelids and retiring for the day, a day that that was loaded with hysterical laughter over the memory of damaged Hotel TV cabinet (coz I rested my butts on it) and all the failed efforts that went into covering it up yet ended-up breaking ceramic mugs and drink glasses which slided down along with the white tray, right in-front of my eyes... like an ice-berge. Along with others, I stood holding the cabinate, controlling the bout of laughter for not being able to stop anything from dropping on the floor and making a smash! And the room was full of myraid expressions, each deciphering what is it that they were witnessing - an intent or accident?

(Clink, clink and shatter) ...one after the other ceramic mugs dropped on the floor and shards
were lying all around the TV cabinet (our hands were bearing the load of TV cabinet that came off from the anchors, drilled in the wall).

There was something so relieving in this madness, possibly the "letting go".
Letting go off the urge to fix and knowing that I was surrounded by like-minded friends who are all laughing along which also gives me an insight and a momentary self reflection time that sometimes it's not all about the self and could be more about the other...eg. quality of TV cabinet in this case

The day started with a rushed-hushed breakfast, and then seeing off my friends at Nagpur railway stations or rather they saw me off....and that last posing for group pic at the railway station near the busy car parking area untill we realised we will be soon caught by the local police and we dispersed as if we were never there :)

I was meandering at the platform waiting for my train which was running late by two hours.
And as a pass time activity, I captured a few pics... the old architecture of the railway station had a very earthy feeling to it...my heart felt at home and I just wanted to capture it all...the bustling platforms with travelers walk-in and out, hawkers setting up there stalls as the day kicks-in, the view of giant hanging bridge next to the station walkover bridge and was a spectacular view to capture with the contrast of an ancient (slow paced) vs new built-up (fast paced) ..

I snacked on few fruits and then settled back recalling repeatedly about the amazing time we all had at Pench international and also all that predecessor events that had me almost calling off this trip...and I am now glad that I decided against it and joined hands with the flow of time...

Jumping back to now (while inside the train), I completed reading - All the love that you deserve (author Preeti Shenoy) and strangely that book was all I needed at the moment in my life. It made me wonder how God or the supreme energy has a plan for me to be entertained,

helped and loved and it's only at me to be more willing and open about it ....and above all be trusting if it.