What's keeping you Busy?

I was at the terrace, sitting and sorting something, which is when the idea popped up that I should write about it. In the next minute, I remembered that it’s the last day of the first month of 2026—and what better way to celebrate than to take stock of this month!

But no matter what, the details of this blog should begin with the stuff that inspired me to write ✍️.

Any guesses??

I mean, how can someone be as busy as I was with the things I was dealing with! So idiotic!

I was drying my hair and also pulling sticky banana residue from each strand 🤦‍♀️🙈. It’s almost the end of my day, but the residue is still there, glued like the pain of a broken heart! But I am laughing at myself :).

Now, let’s quickly dive into what my Jan was like...

1. Travel & New Beginnings

Ringing in the year at my most favorite tiny corner: Pondicherry. Travel to Chidambaram, a nearby lake, kayaking, etc.

2. Naturopathy Classes and "The Lab" (My Kitchen)

A lot of barefoot walks by the lake temple, near trees, and at AOL. On Saturdays, I've been attending weekly mastermind classes. I’m trying substitutes for milk (coconut milk) and even tried making curd with it. I'm also testing out stone cookware—two Kalachettis to start with!

It's been a month of homemade food, skin and hair care, sleep routines, handwritten journaling, and homemade bath powders. I even enrolled my family into it!

Visiting 'Raagi kana' for the more trusted sourcing of groceries.

Experimenting with zero oil cooking. A lot of hunza teas and black coffee too...😎💕. I can see myself soon getting an title of kitchen scientist - Ru 😇👰‍♀️

3. Binge-Watching

Can This Love Be Translated?—I am in love with it! I asked myself what struck me in that series, and I think for the first time, I came to the acceptance that I needed the love and understanding that Cha-Muu-hee was seeking and that, which Hoo-jin was capable of. I loved the cast as well... beautifully acted ✅.

It also made me reflect that I personally had this deep seated belief (almost unconscious to me) that I can't be loved, I don't deserve to be loved and that lead me to push away love that came my way, possibly that was also which wasn't meant for me...

Without my knowledge, I seeked and attracted complications in a relationship, I lingered in to it believing it was my truth but the other side to it was - I was satisfying my deep belief thru my actions.

4. Work

On and off with triggers from work stress, a feeling of stagnation, or peers (so-called friends) that are like hawks and insensitive. Or maybe I am just overly sensitive to words and actions... I am still sorting out in my head what actions I need to take to ease this aspect of my life.

5. Reading

• Completed: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

• Started: Let Them, Stretching (as part of Naturopathy), and a pocketbook, How to Stay Stress-Free (the only book I am willingly reading for the second time, one tip at a time).

6. Amends & Delhi Travel

Visited an old friend and their couple after ~11 months to meet their first kid 💞 and her ailing Dad.

7. Art

At last, the painting... which was long overdue (Coffee 2026).

8. Farm Growth

I've been busy discussing and expressing my plans/vision with Dad and learning a bit from him. I'm also consulting friends in business to help me design a model for a second line of income.

9. Mental Space

Allowing and reminding myself that I can indulge in things that bring me joy: movies, theater plays, painting, cooking, grocery shopping, sitting with my plants while listening to a specific rhythm, and decluttering my wardrobe. Something to make space for rewiring the brain.

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🍌 The Great Banana Tragedy

Well, let’s get to the hair pack that I applied today.

This big raw banana that I had bought five days ago slowly turned yellow and fully ripened. I personally don't like to consume that specific breed of banana once it's ripe, and I couldn't make it the way I had planned when it was raw.

Naturally, it being the weekend, my mind told me to make a face pack... but then it was a big banana, not the tiny ones we get in tambulam. That was that! I mashed the banana, mixed it with honey, and applied a large portion to my long hair and a little to my face, letting it dry naturally.

Meanwhile, I finished making dried orange peel powder, partially arranged materials for lunch (planned for 4:00 PM), mopped and cleaned the house, made a rangoli, and then headed for a head bath—with the water being infused with orange peel powder.

Now what? The whole banana pack had dried on my hair and face. I gently soaked my hair with warm, running orange water using a mug, trying hard to get rid of it... but...

I could only get rid of the thin film of banana paste, not the gluey, starch-like residue—which was now also attracting the fluffy granules of soaked orange powder from the running water.

I was starving. I hadn’t had lunch and by the time I gave up on the "Banana Tragedy," it was 5:00 PM. Later, I gulped down the food which, thankfully, I had put on to cook just before my shower.

At 5:30 PM, I rushed to the terrace to dry my hair in the westward rays of the sun. One after the other, I tried to pull out the sticky substance... which damaged quite a lot of my hair and stiffened my neck! I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I won't lie—I missed my neighbors and my home all at the same time. I even missed the maids back in my hometown; they could have helped me! 🙈🤷‍♀️

New year's coffee! (2026)

 Tried a bit :)...

The Quietness That Follows

The quietness that follows...
When you know you have done the deep inner work. When you have sat with your deepest and darkest corners of being. When you distance yourself from the noise of others to find the lost, long-shunned self.

The quietness that follows...
When you finally accept that clinging to what is not meant for you—but you desire deeply— needs to be let go. When you no longer feel shattered at the bruises, but accept the larger purpose.

The quietness that follows...
When, not fully but a tiny bit, you are able to tame your demons. When those random "todays" take you back to the farthest memories which haunt... but you just observe.

The quietness that follows...
When cherishing moments with friends' kids brings back the child in you, and you wonder: Was this me?

The quietness that follows...
When every new book, every Netflix series, or a stranger you meet resembles some part of your own life story, and you wonder: Did someone just read me?

The quietness that follows... When you innocently ask for an embrace but there comes a polite and respectful refusal. And you know things will never be the same— ever again.

The quietness that follows... When you look yourself in the mirror and ask: How long to carry the weight? Am I enough? Should I call it a season of my life? But all you do is— just cry it out and continue.

--

🪷✍️

Makar Sankranti 2026

 Joy of creativity ! of words, meanings and craft creations..

My grandma's favourite dish

Yesterday evening, I indulged in some cooking. The dish was perfectly suited for the cold weather we’ve been experiencing.

In our home, we’ve always called this recipe Sengula (the sour, soupy version) and Lapta (the sweet, soupy version). Just as the idea came to me, I decided to see if there was a recipe online. I discovered that a Maharashtrian dish called Sengulaya actually exists—and why wouldn't it? After all, my Grandma (whom we all called Bai) was born and raised in a small village in Maharashtra..

What inspired me to write about this is the incredible power that a specific recipe, a song, a habit, or even a fragrance holds. These things carry stories, memories, and entire eras of our lives. They have a beautiful capacity to pause time.

Since it had been a long time since I last made this, I called my Mom for a quick "KT" (knowledge transfer) on the basics. By the time I got home from the office, I had the exact process laid out in my mind, optimizing my cooking time against when my hunger pangs would kick in, especially since I had skipped breakfast.

Everything went smoothly. I was so immersed in the process that I didn't even worry about the quantity or the taste; I had simply found my "flow."

As I cooked, I remembered Bai—her gentle way of living and how she embraced life and pure, authentic, home-cooked Jain vegetarian food until her very last breath. I felt blessed to have had her as the "tree" that provided all the nurturing I needed.

While shaping the rings, I engaged in some fun banter with my family on our group chat. It made me admire the simplicity with which food keeps us mentally fit—the creativity, patience, detail, and balance required of the women of the house while they cooked. They may never have realized it themselves, but I can say so with confidence.

Ring by ring, I was weaving thoughts and childhood memories. A beautiful light-heartedness took over, and I felt completely at ease.

Let Go and Let Be

I wrote and wrote! Wrote about my worries, my feelings, my questions and confusions, feelings of longing and awareness, of how I helped myself to deal with the anxiety after My naani's comments and call, my work related situation, my family, parents, brother, the things I could accomplish during my weekend and everything that was there in my head and just before getting into the bed and also while I was on the last page of that notebook...which held me and my past years...

I bid adieu with a greatful heart. I also started a new one that I had picked up sometime last year when one of the stationary shopkeeper dint had change and I love buying stationary.. especially my favourite Renoylds pens 😍. That's different that the company stopped making refills and I am at the verge of hoarding them to that extent that it last my lifetime...:)

It was 11.11 pm of 11.01 (Jan) and something felt magical about it all. I had shifted slightly 

In the new book, I wrote about all that I need to work on or practice or want them to be as reminders...and it all felt good. 

I can surely say I have shifted from being a person of habit to a person of concious choices...may be a bit percentage but yes, I feel that shift.

This is also a junction point, be it age, others around me, the family's dynamics or even work life...I am aware there will be a lot to let go and let be or be more open to new experiences of life...which at times use to scare me but I think I am better off now. 

A kind of unrushed feeling has sinked in and I welcome it. 

Looking at the past year, the amount of travels I have done, visited family and friends, challenged myself to step out of comfort zone, to learn, to face my fears, to also acknowledge my needs and desires and keep myself in check and not abandon; has helped me clear a certain pre conditioned beliefs in me even the traces of other traumas from relationships with unavailables...

I now know to pause and reflect. I now know to not to ignore myself and I now Let Go without holding back and I let me be...

Thank you to everyone and everything that came together to make this happen for me. I know it's a pretty long journey but I also know it's My Journey and It better be a 'Story lived Greatly' 💖.

--

Much love Tan!

The tiny Park inspector! (No Kids allowed?)

Last Thursday, around 7:45–8:00 PM:

​I had just finished my evening barefoot walk around a large tree in the park and was sitting on the curbside to relax for a bit. I was dealing with a slight uneasiness and a headache... (Thankfully, I’m fine today. Maybe the ginger-lemon tea and sleeping with socks on helped!)

​The park was moderately busy with a few elderly people and two or three couples—one partner present here, and the other on the phone! There were also a few tiny kids and young moms. I took a few sips of water and zipped my bag, thinking it was getting colder and darker, and that I should head home.

​There was a two-step flight of stairs next to me, and people were crossing them on and off. I didn’t pay much mind to it.

​When I turned to my right, I saw a tiny, chubby baby girl on the other side of the park walking towards me—likely to take the steps to get to the kids' zone. I didn’t pay much attention; nowadays, parents are often overly protective and don’t like strangers talking to their children. I have to consciously remind myself to stay composed and not be too expressive, which is hard for me because I love being around kids!

​That baby girl—who, I must mention, had a massive personality—stopped abruptly near me at the steps. She stood arms akimbo, her little fists pressed into her dimpled waist; she carried an air of authority and fearlessness as if she owned the park playground.

​She looked me right in the eyes with a puzzled look and asked, in a heavy yet sweet, innocent voice, "Yeeelliiii?" (Where?)

​I couldn't stop giggling at this miniature person standing right next to me. I softly asked her, "Yaar yelli?" (Who and where?)

​She: "Paapu!" (Baby!)

​Me (Thinking she was looking for a small boy I'd seen earlier): "Yaavu paapu?" (Which baby?)

​She: "Nimdu baby!" (Your baby!)

​Me (Now laughing, but trying hard not to embarrass her): "Yaar helidu namde baby?" (Who said I have a baby?)

​She: "Mate yaake bande park-alli?" (Then why did you come to the park?)

​Me (In awe of her innocence): "Sumne, walk madake." (Just like that, to walk.)

​Then, her dad arrived from behind with her toddler brother in his arms, and she followed them. I waved a loving goodbye to her and couldn't stop laughing. 

I cherished the moment. This baby felt like she was "God-sent" just to make me laugh..

The best thing I saw Today

 I was on my way to office, my cab was stationed at a apartment complex for another colleague's pickup.

While we were waiting, I was simply trying to ease my restless being (experiencing continued headache for two days and sleeplessness), I looked around at the lush green leaves of the surrounding trees and the next moment my attention was drawn to something so full of life, more like a real-life painting with animation...

And my heart smiled 💖. The kid in me was filled with joy and for a moment, it wanted to go and play with them...😊 

What I saw was a bunch of kittens playing on a parked two wheeler...a cute gang of little siblings!

And when I was typing this blog, On my way back from work, I was gifted with another blooming sight... And I was transported to the Nilgiris...💞

Tid-bits part 2

Days when I am less critical about self and doesn't take myself and life so seriously, I get these ideas and events that makes me laugh at myself.

Capturing a few of them here..

'Mixology' of life

World : Howz 2026 landing?
Me : Pretty well! Working (it) out...one seed at a time!

(Yeah, my masala box got jumbled up when my friend was cooking and I am now sitting and sorting it out, one side mustard seeds, sesame seeds, sea salt and cumin!)

--
Marga (Meaning Disha/ direction)

I was in a rush, had to pickup a friend on the evening of 30th 2025 and get back home and then start again to catch the night bus.

while riding from my home to her place, I got a long traffic jam and thankfully my quick decision making saved me as I took a left turn instead of right and used the connecting internal road.

While riding, I told myself that I better remember this juction which is connecting to the main road And started searching for a que, I saw a company board name ' Marga', which in Hindi means disha/ Direction and to have it byhearted, my mind told me - while returning, remember that whenever you see Marga, change your marg! 😃

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Let's have flavour-full headache.

Yesterday, I had kept my day for daily chores and some bit of planning for 2026 (personal and professional ) as I am still in the Hangover of long gap from work...almost a month long and still not ready for the new year, even though I have some how landed in it!

But life took a bit of deviation when I tried to test my gut by gulping a few roasted groundnuts empty stomach and that triggered pitta imbalance and I got sever headache due to gastric hitting directly in my brain...Oof! So unbearable and the silliest thing is I had exactly the same case a week before, during night and I stay awake all night :(

But I am me; Logic rarely works! Had to feel it to believe it... even so called lessons that Groundnuts are to be avoided empty stomach.

All day I crawled from bed to floor in trying to get some ease, drank few different herbal teas, hor water, massaged ears and head etc...

 At one point, I got used to of the ache...and decided to paint with the pain..

I did it and on my table I saw a tamarind candy and gulped it telling myself - Let's have a tangy headache 🤦😁

--

9th Jan 2026 

Day 3 of the partial headache....and I stayed awake all night.

At one point, sipping jeera tea, trying to ease things for myself..I heard myself humming:

Pain Pain go away...

Only on the next line I paused to check I am not asking it to come another day and the I realised the actual word was Rain and not Pain 😃😃.

I smiled at this silly sweet gesture of brain ❤️

Brewing 2026! ☕

 

May the new year be as fresh as a freshly brewed Morning filter coffee ☕