This started when the thoughts were crossing my mind with lightening speed. To and fro, back and forth....clearing doubts and doubting the next ....all this happened when I thought I was taking a power nap!, I gave up and logged-in to my system and started writing ...
And added this to my sticky notes - 'Blog about anything and everything- everyday' (an instant grin appeared)
When I was napping, the seed thought came and to my wonder it was soon a Tree.
Here is how the sprouting happened...
My mind quickly jumped to a SMS I had received this morning, which said "May you be blessed with loads of good stable *emotion". In support if this the mind remembered I was talking to this friend (yesterday) and happen to share that - today I am feeling at peace with myself...all my elementary emotions are in harmony ...i don't feel jittery or rushing at something or the other.
My friend has asked - as in? (and I went into a trance...)
I explained to myself - like my heart is so calm, no worries of future, no baggage's of past, no expectation of what next...I was happy by - just being. Could be because I could do a sketch today (which I had left behind long back).
I did some henna design practice which I thought is long forgotten and now my brain dislikes it.
To my surprise, every stroke of pencil, every stoke of henna that I was practicing; though repetitive in nature - It made me feel as if I am leaving behind the unwanted, I am unwrapping the layers of thoughts I had trapped myself with ....thought started to flow freely...and the hurrah! moment comes when you know you are one hundred percent right - The design starts to sink-in with immense harmony and elegance. As it was being formed I was leaving behind the myths and self imposed restrictions. I realized, how I was giving excuses to myself, every-time, by justifying the thought and asking myself - why am I even doing this when no one is going to appreciate, I will not be able to perform this when needed, but then my rational mind gave space to the heart and it understood that - the beauty of few traits lies in it's existence and nothing else. And so is true with - relations.
Hence, I concluded the weekend was indeed a enough blessed one - A balanced one!
My curiosity wanted to dwell on more about what it takes to have a so called 'enough blessed day or balanced emotions? and again I started to take a deep dive in my days - gone-by.
I recollected -
1. Speaking to my elder brother (family)and sharing what is bothering me everyday and also how I wonder that the vision board is working for me when I see that - I had written 'Buy a Bike with 30,000 INR down payment and easy installments' and it actually happened just ditto!. Though he responded in a voice of his experiences - gained from his life events, all I could hear was answers to my broken soul which soothed the uneasiness.
2. Talking to a friend's friend who is much experienced/ elder to me. Stating as to what I have been upto...and in that conversation one statement made me feel as I was shot by an arrow; that was - 'You somewhere have to learn to let go things/ people and cherish what you have in your enough blessed world'. Though I knew this, I was kind-of avoiding to accept it, somewhere I was scared. But after this call I realized - Life is indeed a lesson. Every moment is a new beginning.
3. Getting into a soul digging conversation with a close friend. One, who is there for you without any judgment and who lets you speak your heart out. Even if it is about that one person himself/ herself (The toughest thing to be. - According to me). The effect of this can be that you collapse, sob and sob to an extent that you feel your facial cells are begging...please stop now, eyes become so puffy and resembles that of me with a sleepy pumpkin stiing in a chair :P
4. Just giving it a try again. It can be something as simple as drawing a straight line, starting a half-read book again.
5. Wonder. Wonder at the Life's events...how it unfolds and blooms, how you can just connect the dots looking back at them.
6. Forgive the self and forgive others. Hold no grudges - remember it's a fight within you, your true self...rise above by filling pure love each time you face it.
and here I add another blessing to my enough Blessed day by completing a new Blog :)
and to reveal that - *e was not there in the SMS and it was a teaser from the friend blessing me with balanced motion :-|.
But I continued to write...:)
Have a enough Blessed Day - A Balanced day !